Thanks for Nothing
by voice of morgoth
Summary: It's Thanksgiving in Dimmsdale. Can the two twins bring their mother back from the allure of alcohol? Find out below! Pinecest warning.


"Mabel…"

Dipper hovers above his sister and smiles at her as he thrusts in. His mind has turned black as instinct takes over. He no longer thinks about the world outside, or how fragile this love is, or anything beyond this bond. This connection. He's focused on her; Mabel, the one he loves above all others. They are connected like two parts of a single being.

Dipper builds speed; he is driven by primal lust to satisfy her. He moves down and looks into her eyes. He sees the same intensity in them that he feels in his chest. He moves in and locks lips with her, closing his eyes to enjoy the sensations of her body. He pushes his tongue in and moves it against hers. Their tongues flick and roll against each other in a playful, slippery dance with the music of their moaning vibrating through their bodies. The tongues tango and twirl together as the twins taste and feel their other's mouth. Dipper breaks the heated kiss and moves to Mabel's neck. He kisses and sucks her flesh, listening to her moans tremble through her throat before they reach her bright red lips. Her voice becomes light with joy; she moans and squeaks as Dipper attempts to maintain his drive, forcing back the desire to release. He moves his hand downward, finding Mabel's clitoris and rubs the bud to bring her closer to the climax. Mabel is quivering; she grabs hold of Dipper's shoulders and gouges her nails in, piercing his flesh. The shock of pain sends a rush through Dipper's body. He wants to finish together; he wants them both to orgasm and feel this ultimate pleasure as one. He holds back long enough for Mabel to reach her peak. Her voice becomes sharp as she squeals with ecstasy. Each thrust elicits a blissful moan out of her. Her body shakes uncontrollably; she wiggles and shudders in delight, smiling as her eyes roll back and her eyelids close shut. The most heavenly sounds escape her lips, the delicate joy ringing through Dipper's ears as he convulses. He pulls out just as he begins his own orgasm; a deep and animalistic groan vibrates through his mouth as he leans down, wrapping his arms around Mabel and bringing her up into an embrace as he continues to rub against her thigh with the last of his vigor. He buries himself in her neck, engulfing his senses in Mabel. He listens as she shudders and moans for him, the sound echoing through the room as Mabel grabs hold of Dipper's shoulders, attempting to steady her dazed body. Dipper inhales deeply, filling his airway with the sweet aroma of Mabel's candy-like perfume as it combines with her sweat. Dipper feels light-headed; he feels intoxicated by the smell as he takes another breath.

"_Mabel._" is all Dipper can think as joy engulfs his mind and soul. Whenever they're together, it feels as if time has stopped. As if the universe is waiting for them to finish. The two sit together, panting and dazed.

"_Mabel._"

Awareness slowly returns to the pair. The clothes dryer whirrs in the background and the sound of pipes and floors settling above echoes down through the wood. The chirping of crickets can be heard outside the basement. The pair remember that they aren't in their own house, but in the basement of Dipper's new housemates. Two equally strange lovers occupy the rooms above. A sadistic, redheaded monster with pink eyes that radiate with anger and irritation named Vicky Valentine, and her lover; the kind-hearted, feminine Timmy Turner, whose blue eyes serve as a gate into his innocent soul. An ex-babysitter who took the greatest joy from threatening to murder her charges in theatrical and extravagant ways so bizarre the parents wouldn't believe their children, and the teen who took the brunt of her torment when he was younger before they began their forbidden relationship years ago.

Dipper shifts his legs around and allows his body to collapse on the old mattress. Mabel falls into his arms; she snuggles into the side of his chest, enjoying the sensation of his hair tickling her cheek. Dipper turns the light off as the dryer finishes its last cycle.

"I love you Dipper." Mabel says with a tired whisper.

"Love you too, Mabel." Dipper replies as he closes his eyes.

The pair drift into sleep, holding each other protectively.

_Sunday_

Dipper awakens to the sound of a chirping bird. Dipper keeps his eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of Mabel snuggling against his bare chest. Dipper's area is closed off from the rest of the basement by large pieces of cardboard stapled together. Glitter, stickers, and delicate paint patterns line the makeshift walls. Above the entrance is a piece of cardboard with "Dipper's Bachelor Pad" written affectionately in light blue lettering. Dipper shifts slightly, eliciting a happy moan from Mabel.

"Hey Broseph."

"Morning, Mabel."

The two remain together, neither finding the energy to move from this perfect moment.

"So, three days until thanksgiving break, Dipper. What do you want to do?"

"Don't know. See a movie, go to a park, have a romantic date."

"Sounds good, but that'll only take up one day. You got any other plans?"

"Well, Vicky's got tickets to a demolition derby for next Wednesday. Want to go see people kill each other?" Dipper asks casually. Mabel lets out a mock gasp at Dipper's nonchalant response.

"She's a bad influence on you." Mabel says as she looks up into Dipper's eyes.

"Probably."

"Definitely."

Dipper snickers at Mabel's very true observation. Over the months that he's lived in Vicky's presence, he's come to appreciate her morbid sense of humor. Death, murder, torture, rape; no subject was too dark for Vicky to make light of. When she wasn't trying to prank Dipper or torture a teen she used to babysit, she would crack jokes about current news stories as the tragic, sensational headlines zipped by the screen. Dipper thinks back on several of Vicky's musings.

"'_Four dead in a tragic fire. Causes unknown.' Guess I missed one. 'A mother and her two children were tragically killed after she attempted to make it across the train tracks.' Thomas don't stop for no bitches. 'Ten new cases of duck flu on the east coast. The mortality rate is now fifty percent.' Why did the duck flu away? Because his eggs 'quacked!' I'm sorry, that joke was 'fowl.'"_

Dipper stifles a laugh as Mabel moves up, looking deep into Dipper's eyes. Dipper returns her smile as she leans in and kisses him. Dipper brings his arms around her and holds her close. The pair kiss tenderly.

_Click_

Dipper and Mabel pull away as the door to the basement opens. The pair lift the sheets over their bodies as footsteps come down into the basement. Timmy's mother is obliviously wandering towards the washing machine as she hums a pleasant tune to herself. Even with their bodies shielded by the blanket and the imitation walls blocking the view into Dipper's area, the twins still feel exposed. The twins blush awkwardly.

"How are you two lovebirds doing?" Mrs. Turner asks in a friendly tone; her attempts at making conversation cause the twins to blush even harder.

"Uh, we're fine." Dipper responds in a wavering voice. On more than one occasion Mrs. Turner has forgotten that Mabel had spent the night and barged in, and then turned around while attempting to brush off the embarrassment with light conversation and making the situation even more humiliating.

"That's good; breakfast is almost ready, so you two should come up soon."

Once Mrs. Turner is back upstairs, Dipper and Mabel move out of the protection of their sheets and begin putting their clothes back on. Mabel grins embarrassedly at the evidence of their late night love session. The bed is sticky and filled with the smell of primal lust, and there are cuts in Dipper's skin where Mabel dug into his back. Dipper lets out a sigh of pain as stretches his shoulder. Mabel looks at the wounds, surprised and remorseful.

"Sorry Broski." she says as she rubs the dried wounds.

"Mabel, how did you manage to cut the skin? Have you been working out?" Dipper says, trying not to make Mabel feel bad for hurting him.

"Not more than usual. Ooh, maybe I'm part werewolf!"

"Maybe we both are. That would explain our… _passion_." Dipper says with a fake accent someplace between French and Italian. Mabel laughs as she lifts her ruby-red skirt back up.

"And why you like it when I scratch behind your ear." Mabel says mockingly.

"That spot feels good no matter what species or were-animal hybrid you are." Dipper says sternly. Mabel puts her arms through her loose blouse before moving over to scratch Dipper behind his ear. Dipper moans in approval, eliciting giggles out of Mabel.

"Good boy!" she says giddily.

"Woof." Dipper responds with a content smile on his face. Mabel moves her hand away from Dipper's head to finish dressing, leaving her brother unsatisfied. Dipper zips his pants up before putting on his red t-shirt.

"It's weird; you've never done that before." Dipper says as he picks his brown jacket off the floor.

"Well, these nails are a different brand. Maybe that's it?"

"That could be. Where'd you get them?"

"I went shopping with Vicky and Timmy one day. I decided to try out the brand she likes best."

"Well, that explains it. Vicky loves to cause pain. Her fingernails are less of a fashion statement and more of a deadly weapon."

"Cool, I've got weapons! I'm, like, the fighting Wolverine!"

Mabel adopts a battle-ready pose, hunching over as she readies her claws with a devious grin.

"I'd say more of the fighting Chihuahua." Dipper says sarcastically. Mabel responds by punching him in the chest while frowning.

"Let's go, I'm starved." Mabel says as she straightens her hair before sliding a rose-shaped hairclip into the strands. Mabel twirls in place, showing off her stunning form to Dipper's eyes. Dipper smiles in approval of Mabel's style.

Mabel and Dipper walk out of his small living area, pushing aside a piece of cardboard on wheels with a doorknob glued to the side. Dipper thought it was absurd, but after Mabel's insistence, he came to enjoy the small reminder of a normal life. A room, a bed, and a small desk for his books were all he had, but it didn't matter; as long as Mabel was by his side, he would deal with this rough existence.

The pair of lovers walk up the staircase holding hands and open the door. Mabel and Dipper wander into the kitchen, finding Vicky, Timmy and his parents ready for their meal.

Mabel and Dipper developed an unwritten schedule with Timmy's family over the last three months. Throughout the week, Mabel and Dipper would concentrate on improving their own lives. Mabel stuck to her classes and homework, occasionally leaving the small apartment to hang out with Timmy and his friends. Dipper concentrated on his job; he worked long days with Vicky at her daycare and focused on the care for his class of preschoolers. On the days when their schedules overlapped, Dipper and Mabel would go out on dates or join their friends. No one knew that Dipper was Mabel's brother, so they no longer needed to hide their romance.

But Saturdays were their days. Timmy and Vicky would always find an excuse to leave the house when Mabel came over, and Mr. Turner would take his wife out shopping, or to a spa, or a romantic weekend getaway. The twins had plenty of time alone to themselves, and Mabel would always spend the night with Dipper. Sunday, they would go their separate ways.

"So, I don't know if Dipper mentioned it, but I've got tickets for the demolition derby on Wednesday. You game?"

"Yes." Mabel says as she eyes the eggs and toast being delivered to her seat by Timmy's mother.

"I don't know if you should be going to that. It might be dangerous." Timmy's mother says as she walks back to the counter to fetch another plate.

"It's alright, Mrs. Turner. We've got seats in the back, so we won't be harmed by any debris." Vicky says as she stabs into her eggs with a fork.

"Oh, alright. So long as you're safe. I don't want any of you getting hurt."

Mrs. Turner places the last of the plates in front of Timmy before sitting down.

"So, how are your classes going?" Timmy's father asks Mabel.

"They're going good except math. Math is still butts."

"That's unfortunate. You have a passing grade at least, right?"

"Yes. C minus going strong!" Mabel says with mock enthusiasm.

"Well, so long as you pass high school. Do you have any plans beyond that?"

"Well, not really. I'll get a job, and do random art stuff."

"'Art stuff?'" Mr. Turner asks as he sips his coffee.

"Yeah, you know, art stuff. Drawing, Sculpting, glittering."

"I don't think glitter is an art form." Dipper says bluntly.

"When Mabes is on the case, anything is an art form. I'm the jack of all trades."

"And master of some."

Mabel readies a fist instinctually before realizing that Dipper hadn't actually insulted her. Dipper gives her a sly grin.

"You were going to hit me, weren't you?" he asks.

"Maybe."

"You were! I saw that fist."

"What if I was going to fist bump and now I'm not because you're so mean?"

"Then one last fist bump is something I'll have to live with." Dipper says sadly. Vicky rolls her eyes at the pair, unamused by the twins' oddness.

"You know, sometimes you act more like siblings instead of lovers." Timmy's mother says.

The room becomes uncomfortably quiet for a moment before Mrs. Turner turns to converse with her son. The twins' chuckle nervously as Mr. Turner lets out a sigh of relief. During the incident that shattered the Pines' family, the Turner's house served as the arena. Mabel and Dipper's father began raving and yelling, attracting the attention of Timmy's father. Mabel had no choice but to explain the forbidden relationship; to the twins' surprise, Timmy's father was understanding and agreed to keep their relationship a secret. Dipper worked under a fake name for the first month before Mabel began calling him Dipper again. She explained to her friends that she was naming him after his birthmark, and Dipper didn't press the issue. Several times Mabel had ruined the mood by accidently calling him by his false name, Billy, and now they could avoid any more unneeded awkwardness. Once the twins finish their meal, Mabel stands up and stretches.

"Well, I should be going. Got to keep that C minus up!" Mabel says with mock cheer.

"You know, maybe I'll come over and help." Dipper says.

"You suck at explaining things." Mabel says.

"I've gotten better since I've had to teach the preschoolers."

"Are you saying I'm dumb?" Mabel asks in an offended tone. She forces back her attempts at giggling or being overly dramatic and manages to come across as serious. Dipper becomes flustered, thinking he's screwed something up.

"What? No, of course not, just, like, helping you is simply several steps above the kids."

"Some steps? So you're saying I'm stuck between four year olds and big, math-brained Dipper? Am I not good enough for you? Is Mabel not mathematic enough for Dipper's big, mathy brain?"

"That's not, just, ugh… you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" Dipper asks in an annoyed tone.

Mabel's offended aura vanishes as she giggles, proud of her successful manipulation.

"Yeah. I'm getting better at the whole 'acting' thing aren't I?"

"Acting? I thought you were getting into art?"

"Same thing, really." Mabel says.

Dipper picks up his and Mabel's plates and takes them to the sink. Dipper walks into the living room, fetching the keys to Vicky's bright red convertible. Dipper and Mabel walk out and get in the car and drive off to their mother's small apartment. Mabel leans back, allowing the wind to blow through her hair.

"You know, it's been a while since you've talked with Mom. Are you sure about this?" Mabel asks.

"Yeah, I mean, we can't just ignore each other forever. Hopefully we can start talking again, even if we aren't as close as before."

"That'd be nice."

"Just, we probably should keep our interactions squarely in the 'brother-sister' area."

"I know, but can you keep your hands off all this?" Mabel says as she proudly rubs her hands along her body.

"It's going to be tough, but I think I can manage." Dipper says as he eyes Mabel in his periphery.

Dipper pulls up to the apartment building and into the parking lot. Dipper and Mabel leave and begin their walk towards the tall building. Mabel knocks on the door and, receiving no answer, fumbles with her keys and unlocks the patio entrance. The T.V. is on with the sound off, and several beer bottles and a shot glass line the table in the living room.

"Mom?" Mabel asks. She sighs when she sees the blob on the couch turn around, groaning in pain at the light and noise. Dipper shuts the door and closes the curtains before walking over and turning the T.V. off. Dipper had barely seen his mother in months. He heard from Mabel about how their mother had started drinking again, especially on the days when Mabel would spend the night with Dipper. But looking at his broken mother on the couch with the stench of alcohol on her breath tears into Dipper's heart. The older lady scratches her unkempt hair before her eyes focus on the form in front of her.

"Dipper?" she asks in a pained voice. Her face contorts, switching between fear, sadness, and pain from her the hard throbbing in her head.

"Yeah."

"What are you doing here?" she asks in a whispered tone.

"Mabel needed help with her math homework, so I decided to come over here."

"Oh…alright… if you need something to eat, there's some leftover Chinese in the fridge."

The Pines' mother turns over, hiding her face from the light and her son. Dipper sighs before walking into the kitchen. He brings a glass of water over to the coffee table and sets it down before joining back up with Mabel. Mabel has a somber gaze as the pair walk into her room. The room is bright pink; a large Crimson Chin picture is glued above Mabel's desk, and a cheesy poster of a bumblebee saying "bee yourself!" hangs next to it. Mabel's pink, glittery backpack lies opened next to her closet, and several sheets of homework and books line her desk. Mabel fetches her algebra book out of her backpack before heading over to her desk. Dipper pulls up a footrest and uses it as a stool while he sits with Mabel.

"So, ready to bring that C minus up to an A plus?" Dipper asks energetically.

Mabel scoffs at his optimism.

"Just help me keep a C." she says.

"Come on, with my help, you'll get a B at the least."

"Want to bet?"

"You're betting against yourself? That can't be good for your self-esteem."

"Maybe not, but I like to keep a realistic outlook on life."

Dipper suppresses a laugh as he looks at the mess of papers on his sister's desk. Dipper silently tries to piece together his sister's thought process and focus on where she's having trouble. Whenever a problem she didn't understand frustrated her, she would start doodling in the column next to it. Dipper looked through, finding Mabel's strengths and weaknesses before designing an impromptu lesson plan in his head.

The next several hours are spent walking Mabel through the algebra chapter, going over missed information and brain-bending formulas to bring Mabel up to speed. Dipper eventually pulls back, allowing Mabel to take the reins of her homework. After Mabel finishes the problems, she turns and hands the paper over to Dipper. His eyes scan the two sides of the paper, checking Mabel's answers before turning to her with a smile. Mabel is chewing strands of her hair nervously as she awaits Dipper's judgment. Dipper looks at the poster over Mabel's desk.

"'B' yourself." Dipper says.

"I always do, now what's the grade!... wait, B?! I got a B?!"

"Yep."

Dipper smiles proudly before being tackled onto Mabel's bed. His sister smothers him in kisses over his face. She squeals with joy, rolling around as she continues to slobber him in wet smooches happily. She's nearly ready to kiss him in a not so sisterly manner before she notices her mother stumbling past the doorway. Mabel leaps over Dipper and out the door, yanking her gloomy mother's hand back from the bedroom.

"Hey Mom, I got a B. Buzz, buzz."

"A bee? What are you talking about." she says as she rubs her head.

"No, a B. In math. As in, Dipper finally figured out how to speak like a human and now I've got a B."

Her mother looks surprised. Then a small smile forms on her face before she turns and looks at her son, who's turning to look at her with a blank stare, unsure as to the appropriate response. He simply waves awkwardly. His mother stands in the doorway as seconds pass, the only sound coming from Mabel's mouth as she hums happily.

"Um, well, you need help with any other homework?" Dipper finally asks.

"Let's take a break. I'm getting hungry. Burned too many calories figuring that stuff out. I must restore my brain matter!"

Mabel cheerfully walks past her mother towards the kitchen, leaving her remaining family staring awkwardly at each other.

"I think I'm getting hungry to. I'm going to get a sandwich." Dipper says.

"Okay." his mother replies.

"I was thinking… you want to… join us?"

"I… huh?"

Dipper and his mother both look around, trying to avert eye contact. They barely glanced at each other over the months, and hadn't spoken since the day their family fell apart. Now Dipper was asking her to join the siblings for lunch, almost entirely too casual for how strange everything had become. And yet, the older woman felt a smidge of happiness. She knew things could never be the same again, but that didn't mean she couldn't pretend for a small moment. She eventually nods before turning back towards the living room. Mabel looks shocked as she notices her mother and Dipper walk into the kitchen. Dipper assembles a sandwich; fake turkey, pepper jack cheese, pickles, and honey mustard. Dipper sits down as his mother retrieves a bag of chips and several granola bars before taking her seat opposite the twins. Despite Dipper inviting his mother over, no one finds the strength to begin talking.

"_This is awkward. More than awkward. This is like turbocharged awkward._" Dipper thinks.

The room is silent, save for the sound of chewing and crunching chips. None of them find the courage to make eye contact. Dipper picks a piece of his hair off the sandwich before taking another bite. Mabel is pretending to sip from her soda can to avoid having to speak. She sets it down before picking up her sandwich and taking a bite. The twins' mother unwraps one of her granola bars and bites in. The crunching is louder than it's ever seemed to be. Dipper can't stand this awkward silence any longer; he picks up the table salt and stares at it.

"Table salt. Sodium Chloride; one of the essentials of animal life. Did you know that the first records of people making salt are from six thousand years ago? There's evidence of salt being extracted from the water in Ancient China and Europe."

"I didn't know that." Mabel says with her voice blocked by her soda can.

"Neat." is the only reply that comes from the twins' mother.

Dipper picks up the pepper shaker next.

"Common pepper is made from cooked and dried fruit called peppercorns. Black pepper originates from India and is the world's most traded spice. It receives its spiciness from the chemical piperine."

"I thought it was… what's the word? It starts with a C." Mabel says.

"Capsaicin. That's the chemical that gives the real juicy peppers their spice, but not the peppercorns. Capsaicin is in the red peppers. I like it on pizza."

"You love the spicy stuff." Mabel replies.

"Yeah. Spicy food is popular in places near the equator, where it's hotter."

"What? That'll just make it worse."

"Actually, spicy food makes the body sweat more, thus cooling it down by releasing heat. It's quite fascinating."

"Sort of like booze making the body warmer."

"Actually, alcohol makes the body cooler, but since alcohol is basically a mild poison it makes you feel hotter by screwing with your brain."

"Neat. You're just a big walking encyclopedia of useless facts." Mabel says teasingly.

"Useless? What if we're stranded in a desert? Or in the snow?"

"Then we'll have to make a big 'help' sign."

"But what if no one's looking for us?"

"Then I'll begrudgingly eat your corpse. We both know you'd be the first to go."

"Me?! You'd be dead in a week without my survival skills." Dipper says as he turns to Mabel.

"Yeah, like how to build a fire by reflecting the sun off leaves or something else needlessly complex. All you need to do is rub two sticks together very fast and voila; you've got light, you can cook, and you have a stabby spear on fire!"

"All spears are stabby spears."

"No, some are scratchy spears and others are pokey spears."

The silence is broken. The twins are able to resume their mad banter, jumping from several different topics while joking amongst each other. Their mother simply stares in disbelief. The twins' act like they've always have; no strange declarations of love, no romantic banter. They're bossy, grumpy, and odd. They joke and shove each other playfully. To anyone who didn't know their secret, they would simply appear as two immature siblings having fun mocking each other. This was Dipper's plan; he wanted to create a familiar atmosphere. He wanted to help his mother forget the pain and madness of the past few months. He wanted to pretend for this small moment that everything was back to normal. The twins' mother forms a small smile. A sense of nostalgia and bittersweet happiness comes over her. She stares at her glass of water as she reminisces about the past, before everything changed. Looking back, she couldn't see the signs of her children's relationship. She never would have known if she hadn't stumbled in on their intimacy. The lady cringes as she banishes the images from her mind, looking back up to see Mabel making faces at her brother. The twins' mother takes a sip of her water before finishing her small snack.

"How's the job?" she finally says. Dipper looks at her in surprise before replying.

"Uh, it's going pretty good. Terry's doing better."

"Terry?"

"One of my kids. His dad was a mean drunk, but he's in jail now. Terry's making friends with the rest of the kids and his temper's calmed down a lot."

"That's good…"

"So… how's things on your end?"

"I… the job's fine… rent's a bit difficult."

"You need help? I've got some extra cash, since I basically watch two full classes by myself."

"Two?"

"Yeah. The last guy got fired for being lazy, and since no one else showed up for a job Vicky decided to give me the second class. I've kind of hijacked the lunch room area to make room for all the kids."

Dipper laughs at the absurdity. Vicky had been stuck watching the class by herself since no one else had applied for the job, and within a month she was nearly ready to turn back into her old self; a vicious psycho who scared children with fake swords and axes. The kids were always too busy cowering to realize the weapons weren't real. Before she snapped, Vicky gave Dipper the job; or rather she forced it upon him, agreeing to triple his salary so she wouldn't have to spend another moment with the screeching, whining, and crying crowd.

"No, I can manage."

"Trust me, I have enough money."

"Alright. I don't want to be a burden or anything."

"You aren't. I still care about you and dad."

"… I haven't spoken to him in a month."

"I'm sorry." Dipper says as his mother sighs heavily. He means it; he never wanted his family to be torn apart, but random chance allowed Mabel and him to be discovered. He still loves his parents, even after everything they put him through, so watching them be beaten down and broken was nowhere near satisfactory. Dipper checks the clock and realizes that it's past noon.

"I have to get going; Vicky's going to want her car back. I'll see you later and drop off some cash for the rent."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Dipper stands with Mabel and gives her one last hug before turning to walk out the door, leaving Mabel and her mother alone. Mabel finishes her lunch before standing up and stretching.

"Well, I'm going to get started on my history stuff. We're going over World War One."

"Okay." her mother replies. Mabel walks over and gives her mother a hug, settling the woman's nerves.

"You okay?"

"I'll be fine."

Mabel takes her leave and returns to her room to finish her homework. Dipper walks through the front door of the Turner's residence and crashes on the couch next to Timmy and Vicky.

"So, how'd it go?" Timmy asks.

"Awkward times a thousand. Still, I'm hoping I can get some sort of relationship back with Mom and get her away from the booze."

"Hopefully. Maybe we'll have her over for thanksgiving?"

"I don't know, maybe. Your mom will probably want to talk with my mom, and I don't think mine will appreciate the constant references to the whole 'lovey-doveyness' I share with Mabel."

"Yeah, that would be weird."

"Still, maybe it would be good for her to get out of the house. I'll think about inviting her over."

"Okay."

Timmy relaxes into Vicky's shoulder as he turns on a movie.

"Werewolves in London 2: Blood Moon Rising." Timmy says.

"You like the Werewolves in London trilogy?" Dipper asks.

"Yeah, they're pretty good. And the writers were smart enough to stop before they ran out of ideas."

"The common problem with any horror series."

"Yeah. I can't believe they're making another Bloodthirst."

"They are? Didn't they blow up the Order of Dracul in the last one?"

"They did, but apparently Dracula's evil clone is still alive."

"Evil clone?" Dipper says with a chuckle.

"Yeah. Somehow Dracula isn't the villain anymore."

"Might as well not call it Bloodthirst."

"Straight to DVD schlock. Might be good for a laugh."

"We'll have to watch it one day."

Dipper and his friends slouch lazily into the couch as Sunday passes by. When the sun has set and the moon is in the sky, Dipper returns to the basement. He hums a happy tune as opens the cardboard door to his living area and walks in and drops onto his bed. Dipper falls asleep, thinking of ways to try and repair the damage to his relationship with his mother.

_Monday_

Mabel joins Timmy in her gym period. The two are dressed in their gym uniforms, a dark blue t-shirt and shorts with the words "Dimmsdale Southern High" plastered in green. Mabel and Timmy pick up a pair of tennis rackets and walk out towards the court. The two are joined by Timmy's friends Veronica and Tootie. Timmy and Tootie walk up to the front of the court.

"Rock Paper Scissors!" they shout in unison. Timmy forms a fist while Tootie holds out an open palm.

"Dang it." Timmy says as Tootie walks back with the tennis ball. Timmy and Mabel assume their positions on the court as they wait for Tootie to serve the ball. Timmy takes his spot near the back while Mabel guards the front. Tootie serves the ball; Mabel dashes to the side and flips it back to her opponents' court. Veronica swings and misses, leaving Tootie to make a dash for the other side of the court. She jumps in an attempt to hit the ball and misses as she crashes into the floor. The ball bounces on the ground, giving the victory to Mabel.

"Yes! Strike One!"

"I don't think that's how it works." Timmy says.

"I won; that means it works the way I say it does."

Timmy laughs as the pair continue playing.

Dipper is relaxing on the bench under the trees, watching the pack of toddlers swarm over the playground equipment and play in the sandbox. Dipper is sitting with his coworkers as they watch their kids with a disinterested gaze, only joining the frenzied swarm when a child falls or a fight breaks out. Dipper turns to his coworker Jessica, a perpetually uninterested blonde who recently graduated high school.

"So, do you have any plans for thanksgiving?" Dipper asks.

"Just stick with my parents. Our family was never big on celebrations."

"I'm going to invite my mom, my girlfriend, and her mother over. Both of our families have kind of gone to shit, so I figured they could all use some company."

"That's sweet. You're a good guy."

"Good? Well, I always thought of myself as chaotic neutral."

"Ha-ha." Jessica says sarcastically.

"Yeah, I'm a dork."

"The best kind of dork."

"Yep."

Dipper stretches his back, attempting to keep the hunch out of his posture.

Back in Dimmsdale Southern High, Mabel joins Timmy at the lunch table. Mabel sits down opposite Timmy, humming as she dribbles French dressing over her salad.

"So, how'd you do on that quiz in math?" Timmy asks.

"I got a B minus."

"That's good."

"Better than I usually do. Dipper's finally figured out how to explain math to normal people. We went over everything I screwed up in the last chapters, and I finally think I know what the heck Mr. Crocker's talking about."

"That's great. I got a C plus."

"Mr. Timmy, moving on up in the world. Soon you'll be a mathema-genius!"

Timmy looks up to spot Veronica's friend Trixie take a seat at the table next to her boyfriend A.J.

"So A.J., you up for the shared thanksgiving idea?" Trixie asks.

"Yes."

"What are you talking about?" Mabel asks.

"My dad invited A.J.'s family over for thanksgiving." Trixie replies.

"Sounds sweet." Mabel says.

"Do you have any plans for thanksgiving?" A.J. asks.

"Might get my mom to hang out at Timmy's. Hopefully it'll go smooth."

"What are you worried about?" Trixie asks.

"Oh, just the usual crap. Awkward boyfriend related things. The fact that Dipper's kind of homeless and sticking with Timmy's parents might be a bit strange."

"Oh, I'm sure it'll be fine." Trixie says before taking a bite of her burger.

"I guess." Mabel says while staring into her cup of water.

Dipper is patrolling the halls as he guards his class during naptime. Dipper had taken to replaying his favorite movies in his mind when the children sleep. He's currently replaying the first of the Bloodthirst movies, his interest rekindled by the mention of the low-budget sequel in the works.

"'_I am the son of the dragon! I am Dracula!' 'You shall not oppress the people of Romania any longer, demon! I shall sever your control over humanity!' 'Humanity, a miserable pile of secrets! Fight for them then, and die for their sins!'"_

Mabel is skipping through the hallway to her last class when she bumps into Tootie.

"Oh, hello, friendo." Mabel says.

"Hi. So, you ready for French?"

"Yes. French, the language of sexy-time."

"I don't think they're going to teach us the naughty words yet." Tootie says with a grin.

"Party poopers. They poop on parties, because they're poopheads." Mabel says, eliciting a snicker out of Tootie.

"I know you're planning to bring your mother over to Timmy's house; I think I'm going to drag my parents along. I haven't seen Vicky in a while and I want to hang out."

"Vicky's a silly one."

"That's an understatement; I still love her, though, so I want to spend some time with her."

"That's sweet. I guess she was nicer to you."

"Not at first, but she's chilled out since she started hanging out with Timmy."

"They make a cute couple, don't you think?"

"They do… you know, it's funny. I used to have this really dorky crush on Timmy. I dreamed of us running away together and living in a castle or something after he defeated my evil sister. Then it turned out he was crushing on her, the crazy evil redhead."

"Cupid was busy that day, so he gave the job to his insane cousin, Billy the Hillbilly." Mabel says while smiling. Tootie laughs at Mabel's joke as they walk into their last class.

Back at Vicky's daycare, Dipper is playing with one of his kids and creating an epic quest with a set of pirate figures. Two pirate ships surround an island in the sea with the blue carpet serving as the ocean.

"Yarr, mateys! There be the buried gold!" Dipper says while holding a figure of a peg-legged pirate with an eye patch to the deck of the larger ship. The pirate captain is surrounded by several cohorts armed with swords and pistols. Dipper takes several pirates and puts them on the small island with a large red X painted on the side.

"Oh no, Captain Vicky has caught up with our ship!" a pig-tailed girl named Tabitha says in a high-pitched voice. A vicious female pirate wearing a skull as a mask is at the bow of the other pirate ship. The female pirate leads a crew of eldritch horrors and undead warriors, and her ship is red with blood while skulls of defeated enemies hang from the mast. Tabitha moves Vicky's ship around the plastic isle and begins making explosions with her mouth as Dipper commands the other ship around.

"Oh no! Hull breach!" Dipper shouts. He moves the ship to the side to meet Vicky's haunted vessel.

"Fire broadside!" Dipper says while making several mock cannon shots.

"Fire bored-side too!" Tabitha says while making explosion sounds. After several rounds of fake fire, Tabitha tilts the ship on the side.

"Vicky's been sinked!"

"The treasure be ours for the taking!" Dipper says in a gruff pirate voice. Tabitha cheers before she spots her mother walking up.

"Come on, sweetie; it's time to go."

"Mom!" Tabitha whines.

"Come on; you can play again tomorrow."

Tabitha sighs sadly before turning to give Dipper a hug. The teen pats her on the back before Tabitha pulls away.

"What were you playing?" the older woman asks. Dipper responds in his overly dramatic pirate voice.

"Yargh, we here be Dipper and Tabitha, the most fearsome pirates of the seven seas! But it is time to weigh anchor. Tomorrow, we shall set sail again." Dipper says while closing one eye and creating a mock hook with his finger. Tabitha's mother laughs at his overly dramatic performance.

"I can see why she likes you. Big imagination you've got."

"Yeah, my sister and I used to make up stories during the summer. Lots of ideas rolling around in this brain of mine."

"Well, I have to be going. We've got errands to run."

"Bye Dipper." Tabitha says as tears form in her eyes.

"Bye Tabitha." Dipper says, waving to the young girl as she looks over her mother's shoulder. By now, most of the children had already gone home. Dipper and a few of the teachers were the only people left when Vicky walked into the main area.

"Hey, boss."

"Dipper."

"What's up?"

"Not much. Timmy's hanging out with Mabel afterschool. You can leave if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you've worked your butt off the last couple of months. I guess I'll give you a break."

"Thanks." Dipper says. The curly haired teen picks his brown jacket and backpack up before walking down the hallway. Dipper leaves the building and stretches, crackling his hands and neck before walking over to retrieve his bicycle. Dipper hops on and rides off.

"_Well, I could go back to Timmy's house. Then again, he's hanging out with Mabel and his parents won't be home until later. I'll go talk with Mom, see how she's doing._"

Dipper turns down the street away from his usual route. He begins riding towards the apartment where his mother is staying. The twins' mother only worked part time for an accounting firm and spent most of her time off job drinking. After fifteen minutes, Dipper pulls up to the patio; he sees the brightness from the T.V. flickering as the channels are flipped through. Dipper knocks on the door and spots his mother lean up from the couch, giving him a tired look before she maneuvers out of her spot. Dipper waits for her to walk up and open the door, allowing him to come in. Dipper takes his wallet out and retrieves a wad of twenty dollar bills before handing it over to his mother. His mother watches in surprise as Dipper walks over to the couch and drops off his backpack. Dipper sits down and relaxes into the seat. His mother locks the door before walking over to join her son on the seat.

"Mabel's hanging out with Timmy." his mother says after several minutes.

"I know. His parents won't be back until later, so I'll just hang out here for a bit."

"Alright."

"…I was wondering; I know Thanksgiving is coming up and I was wondering if you'd want to, like, join us?"

"…Really?"

"Yeah. I know it'll be weird and all, but it's got to be better than doing nothing." Dipper says, doing his best to sound casual with his strange suggestion. His mother looks at the beer bottle on the table as she ponders her son's offer. She knows it would be strange and uncomfortable, but she also knows that she's become far too intimate with her surrogate friend, alcohol. She hiccups slightly before answering.

"I guess I'll come over."

"Alright. Timmy's mother still doesn't know about… well, you know."

"Okay."

"I'll try to tell her not to bring up Mabel and I. Don't need to get too awkward."

"Thanks."

Dipper sighs as he leans his head back, staring at the ceiling. His life had taken a turn for the bizarre. He smiles as he closes his eyes, not noticing the familiar vehicle that had parked across the street. A dark red car with a license plate that reads STNLYMBL. Dipper's great uncle Stan steps out of the vehicle. He walks around to open the side door, escorting Mabel's pet pig Waddles out on a leash. He walks across the street and up to the patio. Dipper and his mother both look and make eye contact with the older male. Confusion and surprise plaster Stan's face, while Dipper's mother looks on hesitantly, wondering what Dipper's reaction will be. She's surprised when Dipper stands up and walks over to the door, allowing Stan and the pig to come inside. Waddles takes a deep breath and squeals happily before he runs towards Mabel's room. Dipper follows the pig and picks him up, plopping the large hog onto Mabel's bed. Dipper walks back out as the creature curls up and falls asleep. Dipper meets his great uncle and his mother back in the hallway.

"Hey." Dipper says.

"Hello." Stan replies. An awkward air fills the room. The situation becomes more uncomfortable when another familiar face walks into the room.

"Wendy?" Dipper says, surprised and nervous. Dipper's old crush walks in with her hands in her pockets, all too casual for the bizarre situation that had developed around her. She wears a dark, plaid shirt that matches her emerald eyes. The unaware twenty year old redhead walks up and sticks her hand up to give Dipper a high five.

"Don't leave me hangin'." she says to Dipper with a warm smile. Dipper smacks their hands together while Wendy walks over and collapses on the couch. Dipper gulps noticeably; obviously Stan hadn't expected Dipper to be there. He thought that his great nephew would be hiding under a false identity, not hanging out with his mother. He wonders if Dipper had stopped the relationship, but if that were the case they would have returned home.

"I know." Stan says before taking a seat next to Wendy.

"You know what?" Wendy asks nonchalantly. She sounds similar to a Vicky when she's bored. But whereas Vicky can shed her normally cold exterior to reveal a sadistic psychopath underneath, Wendy is friendly and kind within her shell of indifference.

"I know lots of things. I know that the moon isn't made of cheese. I know that today is Monday. I know the big turkey day is coming up and that I haven't been able to enjoy ham without feeling guilty since I've been stuck with Waddles."

Wendy laughs at Stan's random tirade before standing up and walking towards the kitchen.

"You got anything to drink?" she asks as she opens the fridge and stares in.

"Some soda and juice." the twins' mother responds. Wendy grabs a bottle of beer before walking back to the couch. She pops open the lid and begins slurping down the beverage.

"How old are you?" the twins' mother asks.

"Old enough." Wendy replies innocently.

Dipper pulls two chairs out of the kitchen for him and his mother. Dipper slides the chairs up to the side of the couch and sits down between Wendy and his mother.

"So, I get why Grunkle Stan came, but why did you tag along?" Dipper asks Wendy.

"I wanted to hang out. I know Thanksgiving is coming up and I figured you would have some free time. But I guess things aren't working out too good."

"Yeah. I'm staying with some friends up here. I ditched Dad back home."

"Why'd you do that?"

"Well, Mabel and Mom are staying here and I didn't want to go another day without my best friend. So I ran off. Dad's probably pissed." Dipper says; he laughs to cover how uncomfortable he is. Wendy joins him in his fit of awkward chuckling.

"Dude, your dad's definitely pissed. I mean, do you even have a job?"

"Yeah, I've got one. One of Mabel's new friends runs a daycare."

"Never figured you for the type to watch little kids." Wendy says before taking another sip of beer.

"Yeah, it was definitely difficult at first. First time I tried teaching math I went on a rant about the beginning of algebra in the Middle East."

Wendy laughs again as she sets her beer down.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you turned some of those kids off learning for life."

Dipper chuckles before turning to his great uncle.

"So, I know we don't have a lot of room, but I was thinking that maybe you'd like to stay for the week?"

"I should be getting back to the Mystery Shack…" Stan says while turning to the family. He notices the sad, broken look on his niece's face. He sighs in defeat, realizing that she needs some semblance of her normal life.

"I guess we can stay the week."

"That's good… say, can you do me a favor?"

At the Nasty Burger, Mabel is finishing her curly fries while Timmy bites into his sandwich.

"Curly fries are the best. They're so… curly!" Mabel says while threading a fry through her ketchup.

"It's like spaghetti." She states as she slurps the fry into her mouth.

"It's nothing like spaghetti." Timmy says dryly.

"Of course it is! They're both curly, and squishy, and tomatoey. Fries are better since the ketchup is sweeter than plain old marinara sauce."

"I prefer cheese fries." Timmy says as he finishes his sandwich.

"That is a perfectly acceptable answer." Mabel states seriously.

"So Mabel, how's Dipper?" A.J. asks.

"He's doin' fabulously. Running two classes at Vicky's daycare."

"Two? Isn't that a bit much?"

"Not for the ol' Dippingsauce. He'll be running that building in no time."

"Vicky won't go down without a fight." Timmy says.

"A fight to the death with flaming swords on a bridge suspended over lava. Yes; I can see that happening."

"I can't. Vicky would hire someone else to do the fighting in such dangerous circumstances." Timmy says while joining Mabel in the clouds.

"But once they were defeated, she would have no choice but to leave her throne of skulls and take Dipper head on."

"The question is who wins? Vicky's got more muscles."

"But Dipper's got the brains going, and he's all noodly and fast."

"But Vicky's evil. She'd definitely tie you up and force him to choose between the daycare and saving you."

"I can escape. My Great Uncle Stan taught me how to break out of handcuffs."

"What else did he teach you?" Timmy says, breaking out of the bizarre game in surprise at Mabel's criminal knowledge.

"Forgery, scamming customers, making counterfeit money, creating fake supernatural creatures out of fur and glue."

Timmy and his friends laugh at Mabel's absurd story.

"It's true." she says.

"I know. That's why it's funny." Timmy says.

"Yeah, Grunkle Stan is weird." Mabel says as she wipes her hands on a napkin.

"Sounds like the kind of company my dad would enjoy." Chester says while finishing his soda.

"What does your dad do?"

"He used to sell drugs, but I've got him to stop. Too many close calls with the cops."

"Grunkle Stan spent some time in prison. Luckily he doesn't do illegal stuff anymore. Not big stuff, anyways."

"That's good." Timmy says. The teen spots his girlfriend pull up in her crimson red convertible.

"Well, we should be going. I've got homework I need to catch up on. Need a ride, Mabel?"

"Yep. Need to go check on Mom."

Timmy and Mabel pull out from their seats and say goodbye to their friends before heading off. Mabel jumps in the backseat of Vicky's car while Timmy goes in front and relaxes as Vicky drives off.

"So how come you don't drive, Mabel?" Timmy asks.

"Driving's just… ugh."

"Ugh?"

"Ugh. Like, not only is it scary and I'm afraid of crashing, but I always see cute furry friends on the side of the road. I mean, I don't want to murder an innocent squirrel!"

"Yeah, I feel bad for them. Poor things don't know any better."

"Eh." Vicky says while driving. She smirks in anticipation of Mabel's reaction, knowing that the animal lover will take offense.

"How can you say eh?! It's an innocent life!"

"Eh."

"Now you're doing it on purpose, aren't you?"

"Eh-yep."

"Well, when Mr. Nutty comes to haunt you, don't come crying to me."

"Mr. Nutty?" Vicky asks as she laughs in amusement.

"My old squirrel friend from Piedmont. He… he didn't make it."

Mabel looks down gloomily as she remembers her old friend. How she used to feed him assorted nuts. How the skittish creature would dart back and forth, uncertain and frightened of Mabel, who was a giant compared to the little furry friend. Mabel remembers the weeks spent handing the creature food before he ran off in fear. She remembers when Mr. Nutty, as she named him, began to trust her. He would come over and climb on her legs. He would allow her to pet him and rub him behind the ears. She remembers how the creature would climb around her ticklish body and look her in the eyes, fully trusting her above all other humans. And she remembers when the little furry critter ran across the street, oblivious to the danger of the speeding car. The driver tried to stop; the tires screeched along the pavement, but the vehicle had enough momentum to smack into the little creature and send it flying. She remembers the sound; a sudden, deep thump, like the sound of a fist smacking a cushion. Mabel covered her eyes, hiding from the sight of her dead friend as she sobbed. Dipper was the one who walked out and saw what had happened. And after comforting Mabel as she cried into his shoulders, Dipper retrieved a box and wrapped it in cloth. Dipper picked the body up and carried the squirrel to the backyard, where Mabel and Dipper dug a hole and buried their fallen friend.

"I'm sorry."

Mabel is torn from her dark memories. Vicky's evil grin has faded, replaced by a regretful frown.

"Thank you." Mabel says as she smiles. Vicky sighs, half sad for her friend and half annoyed by her own conscience. Vicky eventually pulls up to the Pines' apartment. Vicky spots Dipper's bike resting on the side, so she continues driving and pulls into the parking lot.

"Why'd you park?"

"Dipper's inside, so I figured he could use a ride."

"Thank you."

"And I want to scare your mother. Just a little."

Mabel glares at Vicky before standing out of the car. Timmy and Vicky follow her towards the apartment. Mabel knocks on the door and spots Dipper and his mother relaxing on the couch.

"Well, at least they can hang out again." Mabel says as Dipper stands up and walks towards the door. He invites Mabel and her friends in. The twins' mother looks towards Vicky and averts her eyes rapidly, as if Vicky's gaze could pierce through her mind and take control of her body.

"So Sir Dippingsauce, what brings you here?" Mabel asks.

"I needed to drop off the rent and then I decided to stay. We've just been watching T.V."

Mabel looks at Dipper, and he averts his eyes for a split second. Mabel recognizes his tell.

"What are you hiding?" Mabel asks slyly.

"Oh, nothing." Dipper says before walking slowly towards Mabel's bedroom door. Small bits of confetti and glitter are scattered around.

"That's weird. I don't remember dropping my 'Smiles Deluxe Pack' again." Mabel says before grabbing the doorknob.

Timmy and Vicky are watching the T.V. when a deranged, high-pitched squeal echoes through the house. Their eyes dart around the room attempting to place the source of the sound as it echoes from every corner.

Mabel dashes into her room and grabs hold of Waddles, who's resting on the bed wrapped up like a present. The large pig oinks in delight as it smells Mabel's hair. The pig nibbles lightly on Mabel's hair as she giggles before jumping in the bed and rolling around with Waddles. Stan and Wendy come out of hiding from the mother's bedroom and look in while Dipper takes out a party horn and blows in celebration. Vicky and Timmy walk over to see what is causing all the commotion and get pushed out of the way by a pink blur running into the living room. Mabel runs right past them and falls to the floor, giving her potbellied pal kisses on the nose and forehead. Timmy and Dipper walk back into the living room to pet the pig on the head while Vicky and Wendy lock eyes. They both feel as if they're staring into a strange mirror. Wendy's hair is a darker, cool shade of red while Vicky's hair is bright and fiery. Wendy wears a white tank top with an emerald plaid shirt over it, whereas Vicky wears only a green shirt that reveals her slightly muscular arms and her midriff.

"Hello…" Vicky starts.

"Wendy."

"Wendy; nice to meet you. Name's Vicky."

"I know; Dipper's mentioned you a bit."

"Oh really? What'd he say?"

"He said you were eccentric." Wendy says as the two walk back towards the living room.

"Yeah, I guess that's a good word for it. What do you think Mrs. Pines?"

Vicky turns to eye the twins' mother deviously. The older lady looks away in fright. Vicky giggles lightly in amusement as Wendy looks curiously. Wendy shrugs, growing disinterested with the current conversation as she walks over to sit on the couch while Dipper and Mabel play with Waddles.

"Is Waddles even allowed here?" Timmy asks.

"We can have pets here." the twins' mother says.

"Alright. I'd still keep him indoors; don't want anyone complaining, even though he's basically a hairless dog."

"I know."

The twins' great uncle walks into the room and sits down on a chair.

"So, you're the great uncle?"

"Yes; and?"

"The disruptive influence. Mabel's told us a bit about you and your hobbies. Sounds like Vicky's kind of fun."

"I don't do that crap anymore. Can't be screwing up my niece's and nephew's lives."

"Alright. So, what's been happening back in Oregon?"

"Not much. I couldn't get much free time away from the Shack until now. Me and Wendy still work there, although Wendy still needs to learn to give a crap."

"You don't pay me enough to give a crap." Wendy says while watching the twins play with their porky friend. Stan moves off the chair and into the kitchen.

"Bring me back another beer." Wendy says while turning to look at her fiery haired counterpart. Vicky has taken a seat on the other side of the couch, squishing the Pines' mother between the two red-haired young adults. Vicky's cold, pink eyes meet Wendy's as the Pines' mother stands up to distance herself from Vicky. Timmy takes the opportunity to sit on the couch next to his girlfriend.

"So, Dipper's staying with you."

"Yes."

"I always figured he liked redheads."

"Wait… you think?"

Vicky begins giggling while Stan drops a beer off on the table for Wendy.

"So, you aren't Dipper's girlfriend?"

"No, that would be this little fellow." Vicky says while pulling Timmy into a possessive hug.

"Little?" Timmy says in a playful tone. Vicky laughs while holding him. It's become less of a hug and more like Vicky laying claim to her property. Vicky leans in to whisper in his ears. Timmy turns to look at Wendy with a strange mixture of emotions before turning redder and looking away. Vicky laughs lightly at Timmy's reaction to her redheaded threesome suggestion. Wendy doesn't notice their reaction; she's turned to eyeing Dipper. She has the look of someone measuring a guy's potential as a boyfriend. She notices that Dipper's become older and more toned. He's making it on his own, he has a job, and he's good with kids. Wendy doesn't see any reason why she couldn't try to start something with him, even if it has to be a long distance relationship for the time being. Vicky stands up and stretches, signaling her desire to leave. And Dipper knows that Vicky's the kind of person who'd simply ditch him if he took too long, or if she simply thought it was funny. Dipper stands up and begins walking towards the door. Mabel is distracted playing with Waddles before noticing Dipper opening the door. Mabel stands up rapidly and bumps into Wendy on the way out of the apartment.

"Where're you going, bro?"

"I should be getting back. I know you've still got some history homework to work on."

"Stupid history." Mabel says grumpily.

"Hey, don't worry. We can hang out again tomorrow."

Dipper gives Mabel a kiss on the cheek near her lips, enough to send small bubbles of joy through her mind. Mabel can't help but sigh happily. Luckily Wendy is too oblivious to notice that it wasn't a happy sibling's sigh, but that of a girl swooning over her boyfriend. Wendy walks outside and joins the group as Dipper begins wheeling his bike out towards the parking lot.

"So, how's life, besides that whole running away from home deal." Wendy asks.

"It's been good."

"So, maybe you want to see a movie or something?"

"Um, okay? Like, right now?"

"Sure."

Vicky rubs her nose in irritation. Unless someone came right out and asked Dipper if he was interested in being someone's boyfriend, the teen was oblivious to the body language and hidden meanings from others. Flirting, hopefulness, and subtle references to Dipper's male body flew over his head. Vicky, on the other hand, is cold and calculating; she sees through the layers of everyone's mind, and she knows Wendy has an interest in Dipper. She should just tell Dipper that Wendy is interested in him and let him design a lie about dating someone from the school or daycare. But she doesn't; another thought, mischievous and insidious, enters her mind.

"_Why not let Wendy try it? It'll be funny watching Dipper when he comes home. All flustered and embarrassed. Or maybe you'll be there when Dipper finds out? Ooh, maybe she'll kiss him! That'd be worth it! Just to see the look on his face! Hah!_"

Vicky let's her dark, devious thoughts take hold of her judgment. The simple possibility that she might get to watch Dipper stutter and spaz out is enough for her to remain silent. The group makes their way to Vicky's car. Timmy and Vicky get in the front while Dipper and Wendy place the bike in the back and awkwardly shift in, holding Dipper's bicycle from bumping around.

"I'll drop you off at the theater. Timmy can pick you guys up later." Vicky says.

"Thanks." Dipper says.

Vicky stays true to her word so far. She pulls up to the movie theater and drops Dipper and Wendy off. She drives back to the Turner's house and pulls up, humming a happy tune as she steps out and fetches the keys from her pockets.

"What are you planning?" Timmy asks.

"Just a little something." Vicky says innocently. She opens the door and walks in, looking around before locating Mr. and Mrs. Turner in the kitchen. Vicky enters the kitchen and takes a bag of chips out of the cupboard before sitting down.

"Hey." she says casually, ready to enact the first step of her plan.

"Hello. Where's Dipper?" Mrs. Turner asks.

"He's hanging out with one of his friends. They might come back here. Try not to mention Mabel and Dipper's relationship. Wendy's one of Dipper's friends, and I think she's got… feelings. I think it would be better if she heard it from Dipper instead of some casual comment."

"Alright."

Vicky turns to Mr. Turner. Once Mrs. Turner has looked away, Vicky communicates a secret message. Through a series of hand gestures that involve zipping her lips, making a cut throat gesture, and fiddling with her fingers she manages to convey the meaning to Mr. Turner. Dipper's friend knows that Dipper and Mabel are twins, but doesn't know they're lovers. Which means Mrs. Turner needs to keep away from the two friends, lest she let slip the twins' secret.

Dipper and Wendy casually walk to their seats as the movie begins playing. The two friends begin chatting in the nearly empty theater with the movie playing as background noise. Since Dipper doesn't even realize he's on a date he's able to open up to Wendy in ways his awkward twelve year old self never could. He's confident, he's funny, he's understanding; he doesn't even realize that he's aced a date with his childhood crush. Hours pass and before they know it, the credits are playing.

"Wait, did the movie just end?" Dipper says.

"Yeah. What was it about?"

"There was a sword fight in the middle, something about a demon. I have no idea."

"Well that was a waste of money."

"Yeah."

"Good thing it was your money."

Dipper laughs before standing up and stretching in the empty theater.

"Well, we should get going. It's getting late."

"Yeah, you're right. Let's blow this pop stand."

Dipper and Wendy shuffle out of the aisles and walk towards the exit. Dipper feels a sense of nostalgia sweep over him. Wendy remains one of his best friends through the strange and trying times, even if they only met on holidays and in the summer. Even after she broke his twelve year old heart by telling him it wouldn't work, he still enjoyed the time wasted watching terrible movie marathons and talking about inane subject matters. Wendy became a protective, older sister to the little fellow. And now he had no idea that she was finally seeing something more in him. The clueless teenager calls Vicky on his cell phone while Wendy laces her hand in his. Dipper simply assumes Wendy is being her usual friendly self. Several minutes later, Dipper spots the blood red convertible. Instead of Timmy, however, Vicky is driving the car.

"I thought Timmy was coming." Dipper says.

"He's a bit tied up at the moment. Figured I'd give you two a ride." Vicky says. Dipper and Wendy get in the backseat of the car.

"Where to?" Vicky asks.

"You can just drop us off at your place." Wendy says.

Dipper begins designing a lie in his head about space issues before Vicky responds.

"That'd be fine. Timmy's parents are already in bed, so don't be too noisy."

"Is his mother alright?" Dipper asks. Vicky discovers the hidden meaning in his words.

"She's fine." Vicky responds.

Within several minutes, the car comes to a stop outside the Turner's residence. Vicky steps out and fetches her keys, opening the door. She turns over the car keys to Dipper so he can drive Wendy back to Mabel's later. Vicky walks in, whistling an innocent tune as she goes upstairs and hides near the top. Wendy looks around the living room before settling on the couch.

"So, you like the place?" Dipper asks as he walks in.

"It's nice. Where do you sleep?"

"I'll show you. It's pretty neat."

Dipper escorts his date to the basement door and walks down. Wendy follows him down the stairs and looks in. In the corner of the basement is a cardboard room.

"Dipper's Bachelor Pad?" Wendy says in amusement.

"Yeah. Mabel's idea. I think it's neat."

"So, you want to go watch some T.V.?"

"Sounds good. I don't have one down here, so we'll have to go in the living room."

"Fine by me."

Wendy returns up the stairs with Dipper following behind. The pair return to the couch and relax lazily before Dipper turns the T.V. on. Wendy wraps her arm around the side of the couch, leaving her hand next to Dipper's head. Dipper turns into a channel airing a monster movie marathon and begins a mocking commentary with Wendy over the movie. Once the credits start, Dipper turns the T.V. off relaxing into the couch.

"That was fun." Dipper says, exhausted from laughing.

"Yeah, I had a really good time." Wendy says. The pair pay no attention while Vicky casually walks down the stairs and into the kitchen. Vicky angles her chair so that she has a clear view into the living room. Wendy and Dipper are distracted chatting with each other and don't realize that they have an audience. Wendy moves closer to Dipper.

"You know, I like you Dipper."

"I like you to." Dipper says, puzzled as to why Wendy would need to confirm that she does, in fact, like him. But then it clicks; he realizes far too late what she means, for now she's moving in to give him a kiss on the lips. What was once his childhood dream has become his nightmare. Wendy keeps their lips together when she finds that Dipper has offered no resistance. She breaks the kiss and laughs at Dipper's blank expression.

"You need to work on your kissing skills, dude."

Dipper jerks away, flailing his arms as he attempts to stand with too much force and crashing down on his butt. Wendy laughs at him as his brain fizzles out and his face contorts. Dipper laughs awkwardly as his mind returns and his face starts blushing.

"I, sorry. I'm kind of dating someone else and I didn't really realize that you, you know."

"No worries. I kind of figured when you jumped around like that." Wendy replies, joining Dipper as the pair laugh awkwardly. They're too busy to notice that Vicky had taken out her phone and had begun recording the situation. She has the perfect view, and she has to hold back her own laughter as she continues filming.

"…and send." Vicky says to herself. She puts the phone away before walking into the living room and joining her victims.

"Oh, I didn't see you there." Dipper says.

"I was just having a snack. So, nothing on the T.V.?"

"No, not really."

Vicky waits for her improvised plan to come to fruition. She sits on the couch next to Dipper, who's now squished between the two redheads. Vicky turns on the T.V. and waits patiently for several minutes while chatting innocently with Dipper and Wendy. A sly smirk forms on Vicky's face once Dipper's phone buzzes to life in his pockets. He takes his cellphone out and looks at the incoming message.

"Mabel? Wonder what she wants."

He looks at the text of the video link.

"'how could u X('" Dipper says with a twinge of fear in his voice.

"The heck does that mean?" Wendy responds.

Dipper plays the video and finds the embarrassing events of the night replaying before his eyes. His eye twitches while he watches his past self flail about like a ragdoll and fall off the couch. As the video comes to an end another text is received from Mabel. Dipper opens it worriedly and fears the worst; he thinks that Mabel assumes he's cheating on her with Wendy.

"'lol jk bro'"

Dipper breathes a sigh of relief before chuckling to himself as he relaxes into the couch.

"_Of course Mabel would know it was a mistake. Stupid crazy brain._"

Dipper is pulled from his thoughts by light giggling. Vicky is on the couch next to him, laughing at her prank and the look of despair that was on Dipper's face moments ago. Wendy, however, is angry. She saw Dipper's worried face; she saw how terrified he was and she knew that Vicky was the cause.

"Is something funny?" Wendy says with a frown. Vicky stands up and turns to look at Wendy while she steadies her laughter.

"Oh, come on. I saw you laugh earlier. It was funny."

"Not that. I thought you were Dipper's friend." Wendy says while standing up, ready to fight.

"It was just a bit of fun, right Dipper?" Vicky says. Dipper rolls his eyes, half annoyed and half relieved.

"You're kind of a jerk." Wendy says angrily.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Vicky responds casually. Wendy is nearly ready to shove Vicky when Dipper stands between the two while looking at Wendy.

"Wendy, it's alright. Vicky's weird, but she's helpful when it counts."

Wendy is ready to challenge Dipper before she sighs in defeat. Fighting was no use, even if it would feel good. Wendy turns to walk out the door. Dipper follows her while getting the keys out of his pocket.

"I'll give you a ride." Dipper says.

"Thanks."

Dipper hops in the front seat while Wendy gets in beside him. Dipper pulls out of the driveway while Wendy steadies her nerves. Even though Dipper defended Vicky, Wendy still doesn't like her. She's crude, brash, and mean. Dipper doesn't seem to notice or care.

"You know, just because you have to live with her doesn't mean she's being nice." Wendy says to break the silence.

"It's not just giving me a place to stay and a job. Timmy's usually the nicer one, but Vicky knows when to stop being… 'Vicky.' She's weird, and vicious, and messed up, but she knows when to make it count."

"Alright… but why'd she send the video to Mabel?"

"Well, Mabel knows my girlfriend. Vicky would have known that Mabel would be smart enough to realize it was just a mistake, but also that I'd be paranoid enough to think she wouldn't at first and send the video straight to my girlfriend."

"I'm not criticizing you or anything, but I don't think that's a thing that friends would do to each other. She probably knew about me trying to make this a date and she led us both along just because she might be there to see me screw up."

"That is a possibility. But… when I first got here, I felt like shit. I didn't have anything to do or anywhere to go. I just sort of gave up on everything."

Wendy turns to look as Dipper bears his soul. He's looking into the past, and he's scared. He's terrified of the path he could have potentially taken. Dipper shudders before continuing.

"But Vicky… she, well, Timmy was the first one to be nice to me. He saw me on the streets, half-starved and half-dead. He gave me a place to stay."

"What does that have to do with Vicky?"

"Well, she was the first to spot me. After she walked away, that's when Timmy showed up. He wouldn't have known I was out there without her, so in a weird round-about way she saved my life. She cares about people; she just doesn't like to show it."

"Huh."

"Yeah. Like I said, she's eccentric."

"You got that right… are you okay? You look kind of… out there. Is there something you aren't telling me?"

"Just… let's drop this, please?"

"Okay. Everyone deserves their privacy."

"Thank you."

Dipper pulls up to the apartment and drops Wendy off before driving back. Now Wendy is curious; Dipper wasn't simply scared, he was trying to hide something. Wendy decides to let it go as she sits on the couch.

_Tuesday_

The pitter patter of feet echo through the halls as Dipper manages his group. Dipper runs through his class being extra careful not to accidently crush any of the tiny toddlers' feet. Dipper breaks up a fight between two of the kids fighting over toys. The sun is slowly moving down in the west on the cold afternoon day.

Mabel is in her last class of the day, reciting a passionate love poem in French that she intends to read to Dipper later to make up for the inevitable awkward teasing about Dipper's kiss with Wendy. Mabel also intends to admonish Vicky about her little prank, even though she giggled hysterically at the video while playing it back several times. Mabel fills her poem with double meanings, lustful ramblings about Dipper's body, and several words that the teacher hadn't taught his class lest he be fired and registered as a sex offender. The teacher's face is bright red as he buries his face in his book as the seemingly innocent Mabel discusses Dipper in fiery, explicit detail. Mabel finishes before the class awkwardly applauds.

"Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week."

Mabel gives the class a bow before making her way back to her seat. Tootie leans over to whisper as the next student stands up to give his speech.

"You've got fire in you, my friend." Tootie says while blushing.

"I'm a creature of passion." Mabel responds while placing her hand over her heart. The other teen stutters his way through his speech while blushing. Several other male students look on with a defeated gaze, realizing that Mabel was no longer single.

Back in Vicky's daycare, Dipper is seeing the last of his kids walk out. Dipper takes his leave before getting on his bike, ready to meet up with Mabel nice and early. At the end of the block he spots a familiar face. One he doesn't want to see. A face that knows him all too well from Piedmont. Dipper looks away, hoping to turn around before he's spotted while lifting up his jacket in a pitiful attempt to cover his face.

"Dipper?!" the bewildered teen asks in amazement.

"Oh, hey Chad. I didn't see you there." Dipper says, trying to hide the fear and irritation he's feeling. Chad was one of Dipper's closest friends. And Dipper, unlike Mabel, kept only a few friends. And they had no idea what had happened to Dipper after he vanished, for Dipper preferred to leave all aspects of his former life in Piedmont behind so he could be with Mabel. Wendy didn't know that Dipper had completely thrown away his old life; but Chad did.

"Holy shit, Dipper. Where the hell have you been?!"

"Long story." Dipper says as he steps off his bike.

"I'd want to hear it. I mean, holy shit. George thought you were dead. He tried coming over, but your dad just told him to fuck off. Your dad just started throwing out all your stuff after a couple of days."

"Well, I need to get home."

"Dude, your home's in Piedmont. Just what the hell happened?"

Dipper sighs before riding off on his bike. Chad follows him on his own. Dipper pedals faster than usual in a subconscious attempt to throw Chad off his trail.

"_Let's see; I could lead Chad to a restaurant and ditch him there. But he knows my route. I'm too close to my job and he can just screw everything up by chatting with my coworkers. I could go with him to the restaurant and chat and waste time. But then he's going to want to meet up again and we might bump into one of Mabel's school friends… But then there's plan V._"

Dipper silently pedals to the Turner's residence before taking his keys out and moving in. He has an hour before Timmy's parents come home. Chad followed him the entire time and now he knows where Dipper's staying. But soon Chad won't want to be anywhere near Dipper's residence.

"So, you're staying here? Is your mom here?" Chad asks as he follows Dipper inside.

"No, she's somewhere else with Mabel. I moved in with the Turners a while ago."

"Turners? That name sounds familiar."

Chad was once a citizen of Dimmsdale before him and his father moved west to Piedmont. Dipper knew that Chad spent time with his mother on holidays, but the chances of running into him were extremely small. Dipper takes a deep breath before walking over and collapsing on the couch. Chad walks in and sits down next him. Chad acts like Dipper has come back from the dead. He's relieved and surprised to see his old friend. Dipper feels his pocket vibrate.

"Just a sec'." Dipper says as he takes out his phone. Dipper answers and finds Mabel's voice on the other end.

"Hi."

"Hello, Mr. Bro. We up for an evening of fun?"

"Um, yeah. Where are you?"

"Turn around."

Dipper's mind freezes and he curses himself for not choosing to ditch Chad in a store. Dipper turns his head to spot Mabel smacking her face into the window and sticking her tongue out at him. Dipper's mind is screaming at him as he attempts to maintain his composure. When Chad turns and sees Mabel, she stops her goofy act before moving away from the window. Dipper walks towards the door and opens it. Dipper greets a nervous Mabel and an unaware Wendy at the door.

"So, who's this?" Wendy asks.

"Name's Chad."

"Wendy. I take it your Dipper's friend."

"Yeah. Back in Piedmont we hung out a lot. I didn't know both Mabel and Dipper were here."

Chad turns towards Dipper.

"I thought you said Mabel lived somewhere else?"

"I did. They live around here, but I'm staying with the Turners until I can get a place of my own."

"So Chad, what brings you around here?" Wendy asks.

"I'm visiting my mother. I haven't seen Dipper in months. How come you never called?"

"Just, life got in the way, okay?" Dipper says defensively.

"Alright." Dipper sighs in irritation. Chad lived in Dimmsdale when his parents were still together. His parents worked long and odd hours. And during those hours, Chad needed to be supervised. Chad needed a babysitter. And he ended up with the most terrifying babysitter of them all; Vicky. Dipper stands up and stretches before walking towards the bathroom, leaving Mabel awkwardly avoiding the conversation between Wendy and Chad. Dipper steps in and takes his phone out and dials Vicky's number. He doesn't just need Chad to leave today; he needs Chad to be afraid to ever be near Dipper again.

"Hello, Mr. Pines." Vicky says playfully from the other end.

"You still at work?"

"Nope. Timmy and I were going to go see one of his sappy romance movies. Weren't you staying with Mabel today?"

"I was, but some things have come up. You wouldn't be up for terrifying one of my old friends from Piedmont, would you?"

"Who?"

"Chad. Weird kid, used to keep pet crickets. He's staying for thanksgiving and I'm hoping you can make sure he stays with his family and away from mine."

"Sounds like fun. Sure, Timmy and I can make a quick detour. I'll see you in a bit."

Dipper hears Timmy groan impatiently as Vicky hangs up her phone. Dipper steps out of the bathroom and walks back to the living room whistling innocuously. He finds Mabel instinctually flipping through the channels. She isn't watching the T.V.; she's watching the clock tick by. Wendy pulls a chair out from the kitchen and sets it down on the right side of the couch next to Mabel.

"So, who else lives here?" Chad asks.

"Well, there's Timmy. He's a little younger than Mabel and I."

"Timmy… ugh, who the heck is that? I know that name."

"Strange fellow, he likes to wear pink."

"Oh, now I remember him. The poor kid was Vicky's favorite victim. She hated him." Chad says in disgust. Dipper holds back his laughter while Wendy gives Chad a curious eye.

"Vicky?" Wendy says.

"Yeah. She's terrifying. She dresses kind of like you. I almost thought you _were_ her for a second."

"What's this Vicky like?" Wendy asks.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"Don't laugh." Chad says. On more than one occasion, his friends had laughed at him as he tried to explain Vicky to them. She was too insane for the stories to be believable, and that's how she remained undetected by kids' parents for so long.

"Vicky was… she was monster. She used to threaten my friends with axes and swords and knives. She liked to lock me in my room and start fires outside. She'd let the smoke in just enough before dousing them. I always wondered when it would be the last time and she'd just let it burn the house down. I remember seeing her parents one day. They were too scared to even look at her. Everyone was terrified."

"Not human, that one." Dipper says.

"I know. Dipper here, well, he believes in UFOs and Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. He thought I was making it up."

"It's crazy, but I'm sure she's chilled out by now." Dipper says while relaxing into the couch.

"Her? Are you kidding?"

"Well, you'd never know."

"I'd know. There's no changing what she is. I just hope she hasn't completely screwed up Timmy's life."

Dipper smirks lightly at the comment while Wendy looks at the two in shock, finally hearing the full extent of Vicky's foul nature. Dipper hears Vicky's red car pull up and stands up humming happily. Dipper walks towards the door and opens it to find Timmy waiting. Vicky is sorting through the trunk of her car, most likely searching for an implement of torture.

"Hey Timmy."

"Hi Dipper." Timmy says while walking into his home. Dipper and Timmy return to the living room, finding Wendy trying to talk some sense into Mabel and Chad. Chad laughs, assuming Wendy's playing a practical joke. Timmy fetches a pair of chairs from the kitchen and drags them back to the living room.

"I'm telling you, Vicky lives here!" Wendy says as she stands up from her chair.

"I doubt Timmy would let her anywhere near him."

Timmy laughs to himself before spotting his girlfriend walk in, brandishing a large katana. Vicky walks into the living room and takes a seat on the couch, sitting right next to Chad as she dangles the sword about. Chad is silent; his own personal boogieman is sitting right next to him. Vicky glares to her right, eyeing the terrified teenager while he attempts to push away, bumping into Mabel as he does.

"Uh, Chad, you're kind of squishing me." Mabel says innocently.

Chad doesn't hear her. He's sitting right next to the most horrifying person he's ever known.

"So, I don't remember seeing you here before." Vicky says to break the silence.

"V…V…V…"

"Vacuum? Vortex? Viscous material? Come on, speak up!" Vicky says, practically shouting a command at Chad.

"Vicky…"

"Yes? Have we met before?" Vicky asks while grinning.

"Vicky…"

"Yes, you've stated the obvious. My name is Vicky. You like the place? I think it's good. What's your name?"

Chad remains silent as he stands up. He begins walking towards the door with a shiver in his step.

"Where are you going?" Dipper asks in an apparent oblivious tone.

"I… need to leave." Chad says. His voice is barely audible, as if he's afraid that Vicky might lunge at him and kill him right then and there. Chad gets on his bike and leaves the scene. Vicky casually stretches, happy at a job well done. Dipper relaxes into his seat while putting on a façade of disappointment.

"Well, that could have gone better." Dipper says. Wendy stares at her friend in disbelief.

"Dipper, how the hell are you okay with this?" Wendy says.

Vicky begins randomly swinging the sword around before smacking Timmy in the face. And to Wendy's surprise, Timmy doesn't immediately lose his head. There isn't even a drop of blood as Vicky shows off the edge of the blade, which Wendy realizes is dull. It does little to settle Wendy's anger at the vicious ex-babysitter.

"So what! You think that just because you aren't actually threatening those kids that it makes up for how scared they are?!"

"No I don't. I won't pretend to." Vicky states seriously. Her playful, evil banter has vanished. Vicky stands up to go add her new weapon to her collection while Wendy turns towards Dipper.

"Dipper, what happened?"

"I already told you."

"But it's more than that. Chad thought you were dead. I mean, you didn't even call him for months! Just what the hell happened?"

"I… It's a long story."

"I'd like to hear it."

Dipper turns away from Wendy's gaze.

"Please, just drop it." Dipper says while keeping his eyes down.

"Come on, you can tell me. Because I seriously want to know."

"No." Dipper whispers. The teen keeps his eyes away from Wendy. Wendy turns to Mabel, who looks down, ashamed and afraid. Whatever had happened, Wendy could tell it was bad. It was bad enough that neither of the twins were willing to tell her anything. Bad enough that Dipper preferred to never speak with his friends in Piedmont again. Wendy sighs in defeat before walking out the door, knowing the twins would prefer to keep her in the dark. Wendy returns to Stan's red car and gets in. She stares through the windows and spots the T.V. turn off. Wendy backs out of the driveway and leaves for the apartment. Moments later, Timmy's mother pulls into the driveway; Dipper's plan nearly fell apart.

"Shit." Dipper says.

"Too close." Mabel says.

Timmy's mother opens the door and walks in whistling.

"Hello Timmy, Mabel, Dipper."

"Hi." Mabel says.

"Howdy." Dipper replies in a country voice.

"Ya, pardner, we got to find the gold." Mabel says.

"There be some outlaws about. Vicky the Kid and Timmy the Masked Man."

"Yargh, they be trying to steal our booty."

"Mabel, that's pirates." Dipper replies normally.

"Eh, close enough."

Dipper and Mabel laugh together as Vicky returns to the living room.

"So Timmy, you ready to go to the movie?"

_Wednesday_

Mabel covers her eyes in horror as a tire bounces down the arena towards the crowd before wobbling onto its side. Vicky had lied earlier; she took the twins and Timmy into the front row where they were closest to the carnage below. The Dimmsdale Dimmadome was renowned throughout the state for its violent nature. Several lawsuits from the families of the drivers had occurred in the past, but the owner had stayed true to his word of "maintaining the spirit of the sport." The cars were faster, the drivers more vicious, and the game more dangerous than any other. In some cases, the game became deadly. The dirt track was kept dry and flat to give all the cars a speed boost. Teams of medical workers and firefighters stood by in case they were needed to maintain the façade that the owner of the Dimmadome cared about the safety of his drivers. Vicky watched with maniacal glee as a pickup truck slams into another car, pushing it to the boundaries of the arena as the engine combusts. The truck backs away to rejoin the chaos as firefighters close in on the damaged car, aiming to prevent the engine from exploding and killing the driver.

"So, having fun?" Vicky asks.

"I, uh, kind of?" Mabel says.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool." Dipper says enthusiastically.

"Vicky really is a bad influence on you." Mabel says.

"Yep. Guilty as charged." Dipper says while a small truck is sandwiched between two cars. The sound of crushing metal and aluminum mixed with the agony of wounded competitors is music to Vicky's ears. She sighs happily into her seat as another fire breaks out, the horror of which causes Mabel to cover her eyes again.

Wendy is driving up to the Nasty Burger for a late lunch. The twins' mother didn't stock up her fridge; she didn't expect company and had begun running low on things. Wendy walks in, passing by a group of chattering teens as she approaches the counter.

"So, could I get two deluxe Nasty Snacks?" Wendy says to the cashier. As she waits for her meal to be ready, she's assaulted by a pair of hands wrapping around her.

"Ugh, what the heck?"

"Oh, oops. Sorry."

The hands unwrap before moving away. Wendy turns around to find a black haired, pigtailed teenager with dorky, oval glasses chuckling awkwardly.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else. I mean, there can't be that many redheads with a green shirt."

"No, there can't be. So, who'd you think I was?"

"My sister, Vicky."

"Oh… I've heard about her."

"Yeah, sorry if she tortured your brother or anything like that. She's gotten a lot nicer."

"Doesn't seem like it." Wendy says while her order is set on a tray by the counter. Wendy picks up her food and begins walking towards a table and sits down. Tootie takes a seat opposite Wendy.

"What'd my sister do?" Tootie asks.

"Threatened some teen with a sword, and she pulled a prank on me and my friend."

"The prank is definitely her, but she hasn't used a sword in a long time. Maybe she's worried about Thanksgiving."

"What for?"

"Well, we don't usually talk much and she hasn't seen my parents in a couple years. Still, it's weird. I'm not trying to justify what she did in the past or anything, but she hasn't done it in a while. By the way, who's your friend?"

"Dipper."

"Oh, Dipper Snyder!" Tootie says in a surprised tone. Wendy puts her burger down. Something was definitely wrong here.

"Snyder." Wendy says, rolling over the fake name in her head.

"Yeah. I thought Timmy and Mabel were the only ones who knew him. It's weird; I never saw him in school, but oh well. Guess I'm not good with faces."

Tootie laughs in embarrassment. First she didn't recognize Dipper and now she ambushed someone who wore similar clothing to her sister.

"Well, I should get back to my friends. Sorry about jumping you and about my sister. I'll have to scold her later."

Tootie moves out of the seat and rejoins her friends. Wendy finishes her meal alone. Wendy stands up and leaves the fast food joint silently. She knows she could probably figure everything out from Vicky's sister, but she wants to hear it from Dipper and Mabel. Once she's in the car, she checks the clock on her phone. The demolition derby is ending soon, and Wendy plans to confront Mabel and Dipper for the final time.

Dipper and Mabel glide back to the car as Mabel makes driving noises. After she stopped covering her eyes, Mabel found that she actually enjoyed the competition. The car she rooted for she liked simply because the driver painted shiny, adorable animals on it. Much to the irritation of the other attendees, Mabel's favorite driver managed to win first place. Many drunk and disorderly comments were thrown about, including several words that insulted the driver's gender or sexual preferences. Mabel and Dipper jump in the backseat and begin humming the opening to the derby, a version of the Star Spangled Banner filled with explosions and a guitar riff. Timmy and Vicky return to the front seat and buckle in.

"Let's go home. I'm starved." Timmy says while dramatically rubbing his stomach.

Wendy pulls up to the Turner's house and waits for her friends to arrive while she slurps her soda. Vicky pulls up several minutes later. Dipper and Mabel are laughing in the backseat. When they spot Wendy, the two reflexively move away from each other. Wendy knows that something's off about their behavior. Dipper's working under a false identity. The reason he never called his friends from Piedmont is because he wants to avoid them. Wendy wonders if Dipper would have ever tried to meet up with her again.

"So, what are you doing here?" Dipper asks while walking up.

"I just wanted to hang out. We'll probably be leaving Friday or Saturday, so it would be nice to spend more time together."

"Thanks. You want to meet up back at the apartment?" Dipper asks. He's worried, almost like he wants to avoid Wendy meeting with Timmy's parents.

"Here is good, if you don't mind. I won't cause any trouble."

"Um, alright." Dipper says. Both him and Mabel are nervous. Mabel's eyes are darting back and forth uncomfortably while Dipper's voice has a shaken undertone. The group of friends walk into Timmy's house. Timmy and Wendy pull up several chairs from the kitchen and sit down in the living room with Dipper, Mabel, and Vicky. The clock is ticking louder than usual for the twins. It's an omen of doom approaching.

Dipper thought about telling some of the pair's new friends before. But whenever the subject of weird incest was brought up as one of the random conversations between buddies, their friends would act disgusted, or make fun of incestuous couples. Dipper remembers laughing awkwardly along to an impression of a redneck brother and sister by Chester.

Dipper knew he couldn't trust them. He didn't know if he could trust Wendy, either. She was friendly and casual, but a topic such as this might drive her away. The last time the twins' were discovered, their family fell apart. Their mother turned to the bottle, their father to anger and hate. Their Great Uncle and Mr. Turner merely tolerated it, choosing to ignore the fact that Mabel and Dipper were in love. The only two who didn't judge them were already in a relationship stranger than the twins' love.

He can't tell Wendy. He has to find a way out.

"So Dipper, you've been in Dimmsdale for a couple months now, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I don't know. It's just, you don't mention your new friends or anything."

"I never thought to bring it up." Dipper says.

"Still. It's just, I don't know, weird."

The clock is still ticking. Tick tock tick tock. It sounds like it's mocking him. There's even a smiling cat drawn on which looks to be staring directly at Dipper. As if it's saying "have fun losing everything again." Dipper stands up and stomps over to the clock before ripping it off the wall. Dipper attempts to find the power switch before giving up and ripping the batteries out. Dipper drops the batteries on the floor before marching back to the couch.

"The sound was annoying." Dipper whispers.

The room is silent. Dipper may have shut the clock off, but time is still moving. And Timmy's mother arrived early the day before, and she may do it again.

"So, I bumped into Vicky's sister. She's pretty cool, although I think one of you may be adopted." Wendy says.

Wendy laughs lightly, trying to lighten the mood. Everyone in the room is tense.

"For some reason she called you Snyder. I mean, what's up with that?" Wendy says lightly.

"Wendy, please go." Dipper says. He's barely suppressing his emotions.

"Dipper? Come on, everyone things fine." Wendy says casually. Something snaps in Dipper. He stands up and stares down at Wendy on the chair. Rage fills his eyes.

"No! No it's not! You really think this is okay?! I left Piedmont for a reason! I didn't talk to anyone for a reason! Did you not think there was one? Why I wanted to give up my old life?! That I wanted to keep my old friends away from my new life?! I didn't want any of this, but you had to tag along, didn't you?! You just couldn't stay out of my life! Just go!"

Wendy shrinks into the couch. She's dealt with mindless anger before, but hearing Dipper spew hatred and venom from his mouth is different. And it's directed at her. One of Dipper's few friends, or so she thought.

"I'm… I'm sorry… I'll get going."

Wendy stands up and leaves with her head lowered. Several seconds later Wendy drives off. Dipper shakes his hands in annoyance. He begins pacing throughout the room. No one dares say a word to the angry teen as he stomps back and forth. Finally, he lets out an angry groan before kicking the cabinet holding the T.V. Dipper's foot smashes into the entertainment center. The heavy wood doesn't budge and the full force of the kick goes back into Dipper's foot. The teen yelps in pain as he lifts his leg up to massage his wounded toes while hopping around on one leg before losing balance and falling over. Vicky starts giggling from her spot on the couch while Mabel goes to help her brother.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…just, shit."

"Come on. Let's get you on the couch."

Mabel lifts Dipper up as he hops on his unwounded leg. Dipper lands on the couch next to Vicky, who's steadied her laughter at Dipper's misery.

"I think you went a bit overboard there, bro."

"I know. But as long as she stays away, we'll be fine."

"You don't think we can trust her?"

"Too many people already know. All it takes is one asshole to screw everything up. I'd like to keep the number in the single digits."

"Yeah, you're right." Mabel says somberly. Dipper knows she's still questioning his judgment; he is too.

Dipper removes his shoe and sock and looks at his foot. The toes are bruised, but not out of place. Mabel takes Dipper's foot and begins rubbing the toes delicately. Timmy walks into the kitchen while his mother arrives home from work early. She walks in the door and turns towards the living room.

"Are you okay?" she asks when she notices Dipper's bruised toes.

"I'll be fine." Dipper says. He lets out a pained groan while Timmy returns with a bag of ice wrapped in a towel.

"This should help with the bruising."

"Thanks."

Mabel stays with Dipper while he applies the ice to his toes. Dipper sighs; he's irritated with himself. He shouldn't have lost it. Wendy was simply trying to help him and Mabel.

"_But it's better this way, isn't it? Yes. Of course it is._" Dipper tries to reassure himself. This way, Mabel and him were safe. But the lingering doubts cloud his mind and the next day was going to be awkward for everyone.

_Thursday_

Dipper wakes up late in the morning. Most of the night was spent worrying about his decision, going over ways he could have reacted. Plans he could have used if he wasn't being a panicky idiot. Wendy was simply trying to help, and now he treated her like garbage; a tool that was worn out and thrown away when it lost its value. Dipper scratches his head before standing up and getting dressed. The sound of feet stomping around upstairs echoes down into the basement.

Dipper walks up the stairs and bumps into Timmy's mother.

"Oh sorry." Dipper says.

"That's okay." Mrs. Turner says while walking into the living room. A large table has been brought out and an assortment of appetizers has been left out. Dipper walks over and picks up a handful of chips before walking over and collapsing on the couch. Vicky joins Dipper on the couch. The two lazy young adults watch as Timmy and his parents run back and forth preparing the meal.

"Are you going to help or just sit there?" Timmy says while carrying a large bowl of potatoes.

"I'm good." Vicky says.

"I'm tired and old." Dipper responds.

Timmy walks off grumbling in mock anger while Vicky laughs at Dipper's joke.

"So, is Tootie coming?" Dipper asks.

"She is. I don't know how long my parents are staying. I'll probably end up scaring them off."

"Do you ever feel bad about scaring them off?"

"Not really. Why do you ask?"

"I'm kind of regretting how I yelled at Wendy yesterday."

"Don't. It was for the best."

"Yeah, but she's my friend. Don't you have anyone else you trust with you and Timmy? I mean like, someone who knows when it started."

"Only Tootie and that's because I have no choice. She sort of stumbled into it."

"That seems to be a common problem with forbidden love."

"Why can't people just let us be?"

"Very impolite."

"I know, right? People are annoying."

Dipper stretches his back lazily while watching Timmy and his mother prepare Thanksgiving.

"I think I'll go help." he says while standing up.

"Alright. I'll keep your seat warm." Vicky says while leaning down on the couch.

"How nice of you." Dipper replies sarcastically.

Dipper walks into the kitchen to find Timmy peeling potatoes while his mother works on the turkey. Dipper wordlessly takes a vegetable peeler out of one of the kitchen drawers before joining Timmy.

"We've got that fake meat stuff, right?" Dipper asks.

"Of course." Timmy replies.

"I made extra since you invited Mabel's family over." Mrs. Turner says.

Timmy smacks himself in the face.

"I knew I forgot something. Mom, Mabel's mother isn't coming over. Her great uncle showed up so they're staying by their house."

"Oh well, I guess we'll have leftovers."

"Yeah. I'll probably go stay with Mabel for a bit. See how they're doing." Dipper responds.

Mabel is busy finishing her math homework when Wendy walks in. She takes her seat on the bed next to Waddles, who's passed out from a long morning of playing with Mabel.

"Hey. What are you doing?" Wendy asks.

"Finishing math. Stupid Mr. Crocker gave us homework over the break."

"Rude."

"I know, right?"

"Yeah… listen, when you get the chance, maybe you could tell Dipper I'm sorry. I shouldn't budge into his life like that."

"You were just trying to help and he was being a grumble-butt."

"Well, I'm sure he has his reasons… and he did try to be nicer about it before I started bugging him."

"Thanks for trying to help, though. But the Mystery Twins can handle anything."

"Yeah. Anyways, I'm going to go watch T.V. See if anything good is on."

"Good luck. T.V. gets dumber and more boring every year."

Wendy walks out of the room, leaving Mabel to finish her homework.

Dipper is back on the couch watching T.V. with Vicky. He is finding out that Mabel's observation was very true as he loops back around to the start of the hundreds of channels. Half way through his second pass the doorbell rings. Dipper watches as Vicky stands up and walks to the door. When her sister and parents greet her, Vicky doesn't speak to them in an annoyingly sweet voice, nor does she speak in her typical annoyed-by-existence tone.

"Hey Tootie."

"Vicky."

Vicky stands aside to allow her family to enter the house. Vicky's parents hesitantly enter; they aren't entirely sure how smart this is, but they figure it's better than leaving Tootie alone with Vicky. Tootie walks in and waves to Dipper before grabbing a piece of celery.

"Hi Tootie."

"Dipper. Where's Mabel?"

"She's staying with her mother and great uncle. I'll probably go and visit in a bit."

"You'd better. She's your girlfriend, after all."

Dipper laughs while stretching up and reaching for a handful of chips. Dipper mutes the T.V. while Vicky's parents sit on the couch. They eye their older daughter nervously while she sits on a chair next to Tootie.

"So, it's been a while." Tootie says.

"Yeah. No time to hang out nowadays." Vicky replies.

"Kids take up a lot of time. I hope you're being nice to them?"

"Yeah, can't be going back to the old days. Those were fun times." Vicky says. She sighs contently, reminiscing about her past.

"So, what have you been up to, Mom?" Vicky asks.

"Oh, um, I've still been working at the Wall 2 Wall Mart. I got a promotion."

"That's good. I've just been working at the daycare with Dipper here."

"Yes. So you're the young fellow who's been staying with the Turners?" Mrs. Valentine says while turning to Dipper.

"Yeah. I haven't spoken to my parents in a while. It's better this way, though. Get a head start on life so I don't get stuck without a job later."

"That would be unfortunate. Glad you're doing well."

"Thanks. Life's been crazy the last few months. Vicky's been a big help."

"Huh."

Vicky being genuinely nice was unexpected; even after Tootie convinced her parents that they weren't in danger of being horribly murdered by their red-haired daughter, they still only heard about Vicky's selfish side. Altruism was an alien concept for Vicky as far as her parents knew.

"So, Mr. Valentine, what do you do for a living?" Dipper asks.

"I do bookkeeping for the Dimmadome Railroads."

"So, everyone but Tootie has a job."

Dipper turns and looks at Tootie with a smirk.

"I, well, I haven't been looking." she says.

Back in Mabel's apartment, the twin leaves her room with Waddles. Mabel walks in to spot her pitiful family all drinking alcohol on the couch while they search the channels. Mabel sits on a chair while Waddles curls up near her feet. Mabel watches as her mother finishes another beer. She's already becoming tipsy and it's only one o'clock. Mabel sighs before taking out her phone and dialing her brother.

At the Turner's residence, Vicky is gossiping about Tootie's love life.

"Wait, you're dating Veronica?" Vicky asks.

"Yep." Tootie responds.

"That girl who's every other word is 'like' and 'um' and 'omg?'"

"Yeah. I think it's cute."

"It's annoying."

"Hey, I don't criticize your relationship."

"That's because Timmy's awesome and you know it." Vicky responds proudly.

"He's girly and you know it." Tootie responds playfully. Vicky grumbles in aggravation at Tootie's very real observation. Her parents can see the pink-wearing Timmy playfully humming in the kitchen while moving his butt from side to side. Vicky begins flushing while Tootie and Dipper snicker. Dipper's phone buzzes in his pocket, signaling his sister.

"Hey Mabel, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you could come over. Just spend some time together."

"Yeah, I'll be over soon. Love you."

"Love you too. Bye."

The phone clicks off. Usually Mabel would try to drag out the conversation. Dipper knows that the apartment has probably become the definition of awkward while the adults drink their problems away. Doubt still lingers in his mind. Wendy wasn't like most of his friends. He knew he couldn't trust the others; they had always shown disgust and judgment. Even Chad was like that. But Wendy was always kind and understanding; she seemed far too relaxed to make a big deal out of it. Dipper groans before lifting off the couch and walking over to the corner of the room. Timmy's pet fishes remain there, silently watching the world from their glass bowl. They were ten years old and it appeared that they haven't aged a day. And Dipper remembers hearing Timmy talk about his dreams as a child. Fantastical, wonderful dreams with only one constant; two fairies named Cosmo and Wanda. Dipper, forever a believer in the supernatural and magical, assumed he found a case of fairies, or at least powerful psychic fish.

"_You, magic fish people. I know you can read my thoughts. You helped Timmy through most of his fucked up childhood and now you stand guard over the house. I need to borrow you for a moment. Just tell me, what the hell should I do? Should I risk telling Wendy? Or is that going to backfire?_"

As if to mock him, the green-eyed fish stops moving and floats up to the top of the bowl, bobbing at the surface of the water and seemingly dead. The pink-eyed fish pokes it several times before it resuscitates and flees into the tiny castle.

"He does that." Timmy says from behind Dipper.

"Oh, you were watching."

"Trying to talk my magic fairies into coming out?"

"Yeah, I figured I could borrow them since we're friends."

"What did you want to know?"

"If I should bring Wendy up to speed, so to speak. I mean, she isn't exactly like my other friends. She's kind of chill. I don't know."

"Listen to your heart."

Dipper laughs at Timmy's reply.

"That's the cheesiest, dorkiest thing I've ever heard. And believe me; I've said some really dorky, cheesy things in my life."

"So sue me. I'm not a therapist, so I have no idea what to say. Just do what feels right." Timmy says before turning back into the kitchen.

Dipper sighs, realizing he can't rely on the help of any magical beings today. He would have to make up his own mind.

Mabel is lightly humming along to the theme of the Crimson Chin show. The dastardly Iron Lung is beginning an assault on the city using a giant fumigation system to choke the inhabitants. Mabel's mother pops open another bottle of beer when Dipper pulls up. He steps out and greets Mabel at the door since his great uncle and mother are too focused on slowly poisoning themselves.

"Mabel."

"Yo bro."

The twins walk back into the small apartment. Dipper pats Waddles on the head before dragging Mabel to her room.

"What's up?"

"I don't know… it's just, I've been having second thoughts. I don't think I should have yelled at Wendy yesterday."

"You were kind of jerky, but it's better this way… right?" Mabel says..

"I, maybe, just… ugh. I need some food."

"There isn't much to eat. Mom didn't go shopping yet."

"I'll find something."

Dipper leaves the room and walks to the refrigerator. Spotting nothing of interest, he decides to walk back. He looks at his family again and pauses. Stan is drinking mindlessly. Dipper's mother is sinking into the seat. Wendy simply looks bored while she stares at the T.V. Dipper walks over to the couch and meets the three's eyes. He looks towards Mabel while gesturing towards the three on the couch. Mabel walks over and joins Dipper in watching her family. She bites her bottom lip nervously while the situation becomes increasingly awkward.

"Um, do you want something?" the twins mother asks.

"Um, just a moment." Dipper says before turning away with Mabel. The twins whisper and mutter to each other while their mother, Stan, and Wendy eye the twins curiously. Dipper and Mabel eventually turn back.

"We, um… want to, like, know if, maybe, do you, like, want to come over? To Timmy's?" Dipper says.

The three all give Dipper a surprised look.

"Timmy's mother made extra food for us and it's got to be better than getting drunk as funk." Mabel says.

"Sure. If you're okay with it, that is." Wendy says.

"Yes, it's fine." Dipper says.

Wendy is the first to stand up from the couch. The twins' family moves from the couch, giving each other worried looks. Dipper walks outside and hops into the driver's seat of Vicky's car while Mabel hops in the front. The rest squeeze into the backseat before Dipper drives off. Wendy watches the scenery move by while the twins' great uncle pokes Mabel on the shoulder.

"Uh, you sure this is a good idea? I mean, what if they don't have enough food or something."

"It'll be fine. It's got to be." Mabel says.

Dipper pulls up to the Turner's house several minutes later. The twins get out of the vehicle and wait for their family to step out of the car. Wendy leaves the backseat and stretches before walking towards the entrance. Dipper pulls her aside before she can walk in.

"Could we talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Actually…" Dipper says while spotting Chad approaching on his bike.

"…let's go to my room." Dipper says while shooing the group into the house. Dipper spots Vicky and Tootie chatting with their parents. Stan and his niece walk into the room and introduce themselves while Dipper and Mabel take Wendy down the hall. Dipper walks into the basement. His movement is stilted and slow as he moves down the steps, second guessing his decision as he walks towards his bed. Dipper sits down and meets Wendy's gaze.

"So, what did you need to tell me?" Wendy asks.

"I, um… just…"

Dipper goes silent. Every word becomes lodged in his throat. Sentences jumble together in his mind as he attempts to find the right words to say. Mabel walks over and sits between his legs while leaning into him for support.

"That's a bit weird, just so you know." Wendy says lightly.

Instead of the laughter she suspected, the twins eye her nervously. Mabel takes a deep breath as she prepares to reveal the twins' secret.

"Dipper-and-I-have-been-boyfriend-girlfriend-for-two-years." Mabel says rapidly. It takes several seconds before Wendy can process Mabel's jumbled sentence.

"…that's it?" Wendy says. Her expression isn't one of shock, confusion, or revulsion but rather disappointment.

"What do you mean that's it? That's kind of a big secret." Dipper says, finding his earlier fear and paranoia fading into relief.

"Well, yeah, it kind of is. But I was thinking something like you were a drug dealer or you killed someone."

"Huh."

"Yeah, I get why you'd be worried, but have you seen my family's pictures? All redheads. I'm pretty sure my family tree has some crossing branches."

"Huh."

"So, who else knows?"

"Well, my mom and dad found out. Things kind of got shitty there for a bit."

"Understatement of the year, awarded to my brother, Dipper." Mabel says.

"Yeah. Then Grunkle Stan knew. Then there's Timmy and Vicky… and A.J… and Mr. Turner."

Wendy laughs while shoving the twins over playfully.

"Dude, you two suck at secrets."

"Yeah, we kind of do." Dipper says.

"I can see why you wouldn't want to tell anyone, but dude, you're my friend. What kind of friend would I be if I let something stupid like this get in the way?"

"A really shitty one?"

"Yes. So don't worry, I won't be a shitty friend even if all your other friends are. Now let's go get some food."

Wendy and the twins exit the basement happier and relieved. Dipper smiles before noticing Chad walking towards the door. It seems Dipper's old friend was braver than Dipper initially suspected. He grumbles before walking over and poking Vicky while the doorbell rings. Vicky walks over to the door and opens it, greeting her victim with a devilish smile.

"Hello Chad."

"Um…"

"Dipper's fine, now get out of here. You know what I'm like when I'm angry, and I really don't need to be dealing with you right now."

Chad rides away hastily while Vicky closes the door. Vicky walks into the living room and sits down next to Wendy.

"So, I take it you're up to speed."

"Yep."

Timmy comes down the hallway talking with the twins' great uncle.

"And you're okay with this?" Stan asks.

"My girlfriend's a borderline sociopath who used to make me dress in a frilly maid outfit. I think I've lost the right to judge other people's love."

"I don't get love these days. Why is everything so… weird?"

"Beats me. Something in the water, maybe."

"That might be it."

Timmy and Stan walk into the living room. Tootie politely leaves the couch to make room for the twins' great uncle to sit down. The older man sighs as he slowly descends into the seat with an aching back. Tootie sits on the floor between Vicky and Wendy.

"So Vicky, Wendy says you've been rude to Dipper."

"Guilty as charged."

"You pranked Dipper and Wendy."

"I will not apologize for art."

"Vicky." Tootie says sharply, as if she's admonishing a misbehaving child.

"Ugh, fine. Sorry I messed with you and Dipper." Vicky says.

"Apology accepted." Wendy says. Vicky grumbles under her breath while Mabel grabs a couple of carrots and drowns them in ranch dressing. Dipper and Mabel share the messy snack while listening to the conversations going on around them. The twins' mother is in the kitchen drinking a glass of water while Timmy's mother takes a break.

"So, how's Dipper doing?" The twins' mother asks.

"Pretty good. His job is paying well."

"That's good."

"Him and Mabel are really getting close. It's a bit strange how fast it went. It's like they knew each other already."

"I know." their mother says with a frown.

"Don't you like Dipper?"

"It's not that… I guess… I don't know."

"I get it. Mabel's growing up and everything changes. Soon they'll be moving out of the house and everything. I know Timmy's getting fairly serious with Vicky. They don't think I've noticed, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I let something like that out of sight."

"And you're okay with them? I mean, Vicky is a bit older than Timmy."

"It's fine. I mean, even if it wasn't, Timmy's more stubborn than he seems. He'd probably run off with Vicky."

"I know. Mabel would do the same."

"They're good together, though. I wouldn't worry too much. Dipper is a good guy, and Mabel is smart enough to handle herself, even if she doesn't always act like it."

"Yeah, I know… I need a drink."

"You should probably wait. Don't want to ruin your appetite."

"Fine, I guess I'll wait."

"You probably shouldn't drink at all. Mabel's been worried about you."

"I'm _drinking_ later." Mabel's mother says with an unintended edge in her voice.

"Alright, I just thought you should know." Mrs. Turner says defensively. The twins' mother sighs before leaving the table. She joins her family in the living room. Vicky is holding Timmy possessively while she leans against the couch watching the television. Her parents have moved onto the chairs while the twins have seized the couch.

"So, I've been meaning to ask; what was Vicky like as a kid?" Mabel asks.

Vicky responds by turning around and slowly raising her head over the couch and eyeing Mabel menacingly. Mabel gives Vicky a friendly wave, ignoring the redhead's threatening gaze.

"Vicky was, well, different. She never did like playing with other kids. They always seemed to annoy her." Mrs. Valentine responds.

"You're so silly, Vicky." Mabel says playfully. Vicky rolls her eyes before sinking back to the floor. Mabel was unaffected by intimidation.

"What was it like growing up, Vicky?" Dipper asks.

"Boring. Annoying. Kids were stupid."

"You did fight a lot as a kid. You were a very angry child." Mrs. Valentine says.

"Angry? That would make sense, but no; I've only gotten angry a couple of times. I just didn't like other kids, so I yelled at them until they ran away or we got in a fight."

"You are a very strange person, Vicky." Dipper says. Vicky chuckles lightly. She stretches her arms before relaxing into the side of the couch. Timmy is silently watching the T.V., ignoring the conversation about his girlfriend's aggressive childhood behavior.

"How come you ended up with Timmy, though? You always seemed to fight with nicer kids." Vicky's mother asks.

"I don't know. I just like him."

Vicky lies. She knows exactly why she likes Timmy, and most of those reasons would have her thrown in prison. She loves the sound of his voice; his laughter, his cries of joy, and his yelps of pain. She loves his innocence, and she loves to hurt that innocence. Vicky is a sadist through all aspects of her life, even her love life. She loves to torment Timmy in ways that not even Dipper and Mabel know. The incestuous couple might just find themselves in the uncommon position of judging someone else.

"What time is it? I want food." Mabel says, sounding like an impatient five year old.

"Three o'clock. The food should be done in an hour."

Mabel feels her stomach growl, which makes her growl too.

"Roar, lion, roar." Dipper says.

"I thought I was a Chihuahua?"

Dipper laughs while eyeing the appetizers. All that's left is a couple rolls of ham and cheese. Dipper nearly grabs a piece before an image of Waddles staring deeply into his eyes pops in. Dipper pulls his hand away, sighing at the lack of food.

"Don't worry. It'll be soon." Timmy says.

"What will we have for dessert?" Mabel asks.

"Apple Pie."

"Mmm, Pie."

Mabel licks her lips in anticipation. Dipper watches her sensually. He watches as her tongue dances around her lips and within her mouth. Then he remembers that his family is in the room. Dipper turns away; his mother obviously saw his lustful gaze since she's now hiding her face in her hands.

"Oops." Dipper whispers to himself.

"Did you say something?" Mabel asks.

"No, just talking to myself."

"What does yourself say?"

"He says you're amazing and awesome."

"Aw, how sweet." Mabel says while snuggling up to Dipper. She seems to care far less about being intimate with Dipper in front of her family. The next hour passes by as the group gossips and blabbers. Vicky strikes up a conversation with the twins' great uncle away from everyone else as the two sit impatiently in the dining room. The ex-con has many interesting tales about his old life before he settled down.

"I almost was part of a bank robbery once. Old Jimmy and the gang were hitting the bank downtown."

"Really? How come you didn't take 'em up on that offer?"

"It was a stupid plan. Bank robbery's a big step up from conning old folks and drug running. A good thing I didn't join them. Jimmy went down shooting at the cops and the rest of the gang got carted off the prison."

"Yeah, that would suck. What did you do after they got caught?"

"Worked on my own. Lots of petty bullshit. I was in and out of prison for a while before I went straight. Well, as straight as I can."

"Neat."

"Why are you so interested in what I've done?"

"I enjoy hearing about the darker side of humanity. I've spoken with some very funny folks. Drug runners, and not the brainless low class thugs. Real higher up folks."

"And they just let you in on their operation?"

"Me? No, I never did business with them. Too risky. But it's surprising what drug lords will tell you after a couple of shared drinks. We just casually chatted for a bit, although one of them started to think we were in a relationship."

"So you became the fake girlfriend of a drug lord just because you wanted to know what it's like to run the operation?"

"Yep."

"How'd you get out? I've met plenty of the higher up folks. It's all smiles and hugs until someone pisses them off. Then the bodies start dropping. They aren't the type to just let their girlfriend dump them."

"I called the police department. Got pictures of the guy inspecting his product and gave them to the cops."

"Huh. Out of all my years, I've never met someone as weird as you."

"Is that a compliment?" Vicky asks with an evil smirk.

"If you want it to be."

Before the two can continue their discussion of illegal activity, Mrs. Turner walks out of the kitchen carrying a large bowl of mashed potatoes. She's followed by her husband carrying plates of ham and turkey. Timmy walks out next, carrying the seitan that's been made for him and the twins. Ever since Mabel showed off pictures and video of Waddles, Timmy has been unable to look at a piece of pork without feeling guilty. This slowly extended to all animal life over the months.

With the dishes prepared, Mr. Turner signals the group into the dining room. Timmy sits down next to his parents with Vicky on his right. Tootie sits down next to her sister and acts as a buffer between Vicky and her parents. Wendy sits opposite Vicky with the twins to her right. To the twins' surprise, their mother sits down next to Dipper. Stan sits at the center chair, which Mabel has always referred to as the commander's seat. Mr. Turner pours glasses of wine for the adults. After the group passes the food around, Mabel folds her hands together.

"Let us take a moment of silence for Waddles' fallen comrades." Mabel says gloomily.

"Mmm, Bacon." Vicky says while rubbing her stomach.

Vicky smirks in amusement at the angry glare shot her way by Mabel.

"So Mabel, what are your plans for when school ends?" Vicky's mother asks.

"I'll do something local. I ain't leaving Dipper here all alone. He'll get all gloomy and grumpy."

"You got that right." Dipper says.

"So when did you start dating Veronica?" Mr. Turner asks.

"We hit it up a little bit after Halloween. Poor thing got dumped by her jerky ex."

"Go easy on Chester. You know he isn't always the smartest one." Timmy says.

"I know, but it's just like… rrgh, sometimes I just want to slug him!" Tootie says angrily while punching her open palm.

"Yeah, that was an awkward night." Dipper says.

"Yeah, although the rest was fun." Mabel says.

"Did you two dress up?" Wendy asks.

"Yes. We went as two vampires." Dipper replies.

"Two extremely awesome vampires. Mabel has some real talent with her costumes, Mrs. Pines." Tootie says.

"I know. She always loved to make an impression." the twins' mother says.

"You like the Dracula armor?"

"Armor?"

"Yeah… haven't you seen it?"

"Actually, no; I haven't."

Tootie lets out an exaggerated gasp before taking her phone out and flipping through the videos. She sends it down the table to the twins' mother. She's shocked; Mabel's craftsmanship was never to be taken lightly, but she went above and beyond with this costume.

"Is that real metal?" Mrs. Pines asks in a surprised tone.

"Yeah, I may have gone a _little_ overkill." Mabel says.

In the video, Dipper begins his impression of the Dark Lord Dracula. He speaks in a bestial growl with the sound of evil behind his voice.

"Cool." Wendy says as she listens in. Then the twins' mother and Wendy laugh as Dipper's voice fails and he coughs in pain. Sadly, Tootie's phone begins playing the next video automatically. The twins' mother watches as her two children dance romantically under the pale moon light. Dipper holds Mabel to him, keeping his arms around her waist.

"Mabel… be mine for all eternity." he says in his dark, demonic growl. Mabel's mother stops the video just as Dipper begins to dip Mabel lower. She passes the phone back towards Tootie while Dipper covers his face in embarrassment. The twins' mother takes a sip of wine before going silent.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Tootie says. She knew the last thing a parent needed to see was their teenage daughter swooning lustfully over her boyfriend. Wendy laughs awkwardly while Dipper slides his hands away from his face.

"Come on, let's eat." Wendy says impatiently.

Mashed potatoes with mushroom gravy, ham and turkey slathered in cranberry sauce, mixed bean salad, cornbread thickly coated with butter, Italian sausage in Marinara sauce, and seitan soaked in a sweet, thick broth.

Timmy patiently and delicately eats his seitan and salad, ignoring the temptation of meat being eaten next to him. Vicky chews into her turkey and ham like a wolf. She seems to view the tough, thick texture as a challenge to be bested as she devours it greedily. Tootie eats a small piece of turkey with her mashed potatoes and salad; the teen is trying to keep her weight down so she can impress her girlfriend. Vicky sneaks an extra piece of turkey onto her sister's plate when she isn't looking, knowing that Tootie's eating habits need changing. Wendy casually eats several slices of turkey and ham covered in gravy. Next to her, Mabel is shoving her face full of mashed potatoes and seitan, barely taking enough time to chew before she moves onto her next piece. Dipper eats slowly and methodically, making sure to finish one type of food before moving onto the next. His mother switches between food and drinking wine.

"Another please." the twins' mother says while handing her wine glass over to Mr. Turner.

She takes the second glass back and immediately begins drinking more. Stan chews into his second piece of turkey.

"This is good." he says with his mouth full. The twins' mother nudges him in the side as a reminder to use his table manners.

The hands of the clock tick by as the group finishes their meal. Timmy and his mother go to the kitchen to fetch the apple pie. Mabel's sugar craze takes over as she greedily digs into the first piece. Once the rest of the group is finished, Mabel jumps at the last piece selfishly and meets Timmy's hand.

"Oh, sorry. You can have it." Timmy says. As Mabel greedily picks up the last piece, Vicky sees Timmy's disappointed face.

"You like games, right Mabel?" Vicky says.

"Well, duh." Mabel says.

"How about a game. I'll take you on for that last piece of pie." Vicky says with a grin.

"I'll take that bet!" Mabel says proudly. She was always able to best her friends. Video games, board games, and sports competitions was where Mabel excelled. Vicky stands up and walks over to the living room. She clears the clutter from the table while Mabel walks over and sets the prize down near Timmy's fish. Vicky sits down opposite her rival and places her elbow on the table with her hand stretched out to grip Mabel's.

"What are you doing?" Mabel asks.

"Arm wrestling." Vicky says. Suddenly Mabel's eagerness fades. She walked right in to Vicky's trap. Mabel was in no way wimpy, but Vicky was vicious and powerful. She could bend limbs in ways they were not supposed to go; she could strangle a person within her arms. Mabel knew she couldn't win.

"You win." Mabel says gloomily before the battle even begins. Before Vicky can go to claim her prize, she spots Wendy come into the room.

"That's hardly fair. Come on, I'll fight you for it." Wendy says.

"Sorry, but the game was with Mabel."

"What's wrong, afraid you'll lose?"

Vicky knew she was being played. She could see that Wendy was more able to match her strength. But she was proud and arrogant and wasn't willing to let Wendy's insult go unchallenged.

"Sit down." Vicky commands while bearing her evil grin.

Wendy sits down opposite her opponent and readies her arm. She takes Vicky's hand in her own as Timmy comes into the room and sits down on the couch. He looks at the group ready to fight.

"What are you two doing?" he asks.

"Fighting over pie." Vicky responds.

"Why?"

"Well, you wanted it right? Figured I'd win it over for you."

"You know…" Mabel starts, realizing that Timmy must have wanted the slice badly enough that Vicky would be willing to fight her for it.

"…we could just share."

"Oh, yeah. Why didn't I think of that?" Vicky says. Sharing, as most acts of altruism, was something she rarely indulged in. Wendy moves her arm off the table as Timmy and Mabel go and fetch a knife to cut the slice of pie, but Vicky's arm is still on the table.

"We don't have to play anymore." Wendy says.

"Sure we do. You insulted my honor. Now come on!" Vicky says.

Wendy puts her arm back and grips Vicky's hand while Timmy and Mabel come back into the living room with their two pieces of pie. They watch as Vicky and Wendy begin their duel. Their arms struggle against each other and their muscles pulse. Vicky and Wendy let out the occasional grunt or pained sigh. Vicky is sweating and Wendy is biting her bottom lip to force herself through the pain. And then Vicky's arm comes slamming down to the table.

"Boo-yeah!" Wendy says with a fist-pump. Vicky grabs her arm in agony while she wiggles her fingers from the tingles of pain shooting through them.

"Ow." Vicky says bluntly.

"Good game." Wendy says while extending a hand out. Vicky shakes her opponents hand before glaring at Wendy. It's a look the emerald eyed redhead has never seen before on Vicky. Vicky pulls Wendy across the table and meets her in the middle. Vicky whispers in Wendy's ear and pulls back. Wendy's eyes dart quickly between Vicky and Timmy while she begins blushing slightly.

"You're joking, right?" Wendy asks.

"No." Vicky replies seriously.

"Yeah… I think I'll pass." Wendy says with an awkward smile. Vicky lets out a disappointed sigh before leaning back against the couch. It seems her threesome fantasy with the other redhead would have to remain a fantasy.

Mabel finishes her small slice of pie as Dipper makes his way over to the couch. He yawns with a stretch as he attempts to keep his mind awake and aware. He doesn't want to pass out yet since his mother is finally enjoying something besides the welcoming daze that comes with too much alcohol. She's speaking with Vicky's parents and the Turners and has finally set aside the liquor.

"So, I was wondering if you'd like to come over one day?" Vicky's mother asks Mrs. Pines.

"That'd be nice. Would Saturday be fine?"

"That'd be good." Mrs. Valentine replies. Tootie is chatting with Mabel in the living room.

"So Mabel; do you have any plans for Christmas break?" Tootie asks.

"No, I'll probably just stay here with Mom and Dipper."

"I'm probably going to spend a week with my grandparents. I'm hoping I can drag Veronica along."

"Ooh, are you going to share a room?" Mabel asks teasingly.

"Shut up." Tootie says through clenched teeth. Her face burns red at the thought of being all along with her girlfriend for a whole week. Dipper sits on the couch watching T.V., sandwiched between the two redheads.

"So Dipper, does your dad know you're here?" Wendy asks.

"He does, and he hates it, but I don't think he wants to mess with Vicky again."

"Again?"

"There's a reason I like to keep close to Vicky. She helped Mabel and me with our dad…" Dipper pauses; he looks back on his past, remembering how his father reacted.

"…Dad was probably going to kill me. I don't mean, like, just yell or beat me up. He lost it. He was beating the shit out of me. But Vicky here, well, she knew what to do. She fought him and scared him off."

Dipper turns to his protector.

"You're a good friend, Vicky, even if you don't always act like it. Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Vicky responds as she watches the T.V. She changes the channel to her favorite sport.

"Mixed martial arts? I should have known you'd like this." Wendy says.

"Do you like it?" Vicky asks.

"Yeah, it's pretty fun to watch."

"I like to study the moves. See what hurts most."

"Why?"

"Well, you never know when some jackass is going to try and fight, like the twins' dad or that jerk last month. It's good to be prepared."

"Just how many fights have you been in?" Wendy asks bewilderedly.

"I sort of lost count. A lot when I was a kid, then a bit more when I was sixteen and seventeen. I've stopped, since I don't want to end up crippled or anything. I don't think Timmy would appreciate that either. But life just likes to keep giving me opponents."

"I think 'victims' is a better word." Dipper responds. Vicky chuckles lightly. Timmy returns and, finding no better spots, sits down in his girlfriend's embrace. Even after he's grown to match her size, he still enjoys the feeling of her holding him close. He listens to her heartbeat, he feels her breath on the back of his neck, and when she speaks with her dark, cackling voice, it sounds like the music of paradise. The hours tick by as the sun fades behind the horizon. Dipper's manic worry the night before is catching up to him. Despite his best efforts, he can feel himself drifting off into sleep, even with the conversations around him echoing through his ears. His head falls lower before shooting back up. Dipper excuses himself from the group.

"I think I'm going to pack it in for the night. It was nice spending time with you." Dipper says tiredly to the group. Mabel instinctively leaves her chair to follow him down the stairs.

"Why are you following me?"

"Don't you want to cuddle?" Mabel asks.

"Cuddle or _'cuddle.'_"

"Well, with everyone still here and with how exhausted you are it'll have to just be a normal, brother-sister thing."

The twins walk over to the bed. Dipper lazily strips down to his underwear and t-shirt before getting into the bed. Mabel moves in after and lies down. Within a minute, Dipper has drifted into sleep. Twenty minutes later, the twins' mother notices her children are missing.

"Did you see Mabel and Dipper anywhere?" she asks.

"Dipper was getting exhausted, so they probably went to bed early." Timmy says.

The twins' mother walks over to the basement door and opens it up. She walks down the stairs and sees the silly mock room that Mabel constructed for her brother. She slides the fake door on wheels open. She smiles nostalgically; the twins were sound asleep as if nothing had changed. Tears form in her eyes as she watches them. She notices Mabel shiver slightly, so the twins' mother does the one thing she knows she still can. She lifts the blanket up and covers Mabel's shoulders before turning and closing the fake door. The twins' mother returns up the stairs, leaving Dipper and Mabel alone. She bumps into Mrs. Turner on the way out.

"Oh, sorry." Mrs. Turner says.

"That's fine."

"Saying goodnight?"

"Tried, although they were already asleep. I'll probably be going soon."

"Okay."

The Pines' parent walks back into the living room and sits on one of the chairs. Tootie and her family are saying goodbye to Vicky. It seems that Mrs. Valentine has finally accepted her older daughter, although Richard Valentine is still hesitant to make physical contact with Vicky as he declines a hug in favor of an awkward handshake.

"So, you ready to go?" Stan asks.

"Yeah, I think we should. I've still got work tomorrow."

"Are you going to be okay? We were supposed to be getting back to Oregon by Saturday."

"I think I can manage. I'll… try not to let our family's issues get in the way too much."

"That's good."

The twins' mother and Stan say their goodbyes to the Turners while Timmy gets in the car to drive them back. Vicky waves to her redheaded counterpart; Vicky is still disappointed that she wasn't able to convince Wendy to join her and Timmy.

"Well, that was nice. I hope we can meet them again." Timmy's mother says.

"We probably will." Vicky says. Timmy drives towards the Pines' residence with the Pines' family in the backseat.

"So, I hope we'll get to meet up again." Timmy says.

"It was fun." Wendy says with a smile. Timmy drops the group off at their apartment before turning around. Timmy returns home to help his mother clean up from the long day. He walks into the kitchen to begin loading up the dish washer. He pokes his head out into the living room to spot Vicky relaxing on the couch.

"Aren't you going to help?" Timmy asks in jest. He knows exactly how lazy Vicky is. She proceeds to throw a small plastic bowl at him.

"There, I helped." Vicky says with a knowing grin.

"Gee, thanks for nothing."


End file.
